IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Many children now spend a lot of time reading children’s story books. What are the advantages and disadvantages of reading books for children?

Children
Use synonyms
, nowadays, have developed a keen interest in reading
Use synonyms
story
Use the right word
storybooks
show examples
books
Use synonyms
, which consumes most of their
time
Use synonyms
. There are various advantages of
this
Linking Words
 because reading helps to develop declarative thinking among
children
Use synonyms
, and learn some important moral lessons.
However
Linking Words
, the major disadvantage of
this
Linking Words
 is
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
that it might decrease the interest of a child in the actual studies.
This
Linking Words
 essay will explore both the pros and cons of reading
Use synonyms
story
Use the right word
storybooks
show examples
books
Use synonyms
, and will explicate my opinion.
Firstly
Linking Words
, reading has many positive outcomes on
children
Use synonyms
's mental development. It helps them to focus on the good outcome, rather than worrying about the way it is
acheived
Correct your spelling
achieved
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it decreases the imperative thinking in
children
Use synonyms
, encouraging them to develop
more
Correct article usage
a more
show examples
 declarative approach. Apart from that, reading good
story
Use synonyms
books
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
promote
Correct subject-verb agreement
promotes
show examples
 moral values in the kids,
thus
Linking Words
 helping them to become good human beings.
For instance
Linking Words
, the
story
Use synonyms
 of
rabbit
Correct article usage
the rabbit
show examples
 and
tortoise
Correct article usage
the tortoise
show examples
teach
Correct subject-verb agreement
teaches
show examples
 the students to never give up, even if there are high chances that
you
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 will be defeated.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, if
children
Use synonyms
 spend all their
time
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
reading
books
Use synonyms
, they are unable to focus on their actual studies.
This
Linking Words
 is because after reading a lot of fiction, they find their subjects boring
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 and are unable to connect with them.
This
Linking Words
 causes harm to their academic outcome
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and
will endanger
Wrong verb form
endangers
show examples
 their future.
For example
Linking Words
, if a child reads
story
Use synonyms
books
Use synonyms
 all the
time
Use synonyms
,
instead
Linking Words
 of preparing for exams, it will put a huge
troll
Use the right word
toll
show examples
 on their result and they will score less. Conclusively, there are both pros and cons of
children
Use synonyms
 spending
time
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
reading
Use synonyms
story
Use the right word
storybooks
show examples
books
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
 the advantageous side of
this
Linking Words
 is
development
Correct article usage
the development
show examples
 of thinking ability and moral values among students, the disadvantage is that it is harmful
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 their educational
pursuit
Fix the agreement mistake
pursuits
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 disadvantage can be easily taken care of by developing a balance between reading good
story
Use synonyms
books
Use synonyms
,
along with
Linking Words
 allocating proper
time
Use synonyms
 to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
studies.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

language
Fix spelling and grammar and use simple words that readers know well.
coherence
Make ideas clear and link them with simple ties like 'and', 'for example', and 'but' to show how ideas fit.
task
Add more detail and stronger proof for each point; give clearer examples.
structure
Check the topic sentence of each paragraph to keep to the main idea.
structure
The essay has a clear plan with an opening and a closing.
content
It shows both good and bad sides of the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: