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Writing Samples
Band 5

Nowadays, more and more people decide to have children later in their life. What are the reasons? Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

In today's day and age, there is an increasing trend in having
children
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 late in life.There are several reasons for
this
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 (like mental growth and financial freedom).
This
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 approach brings many advantages (like proper facilities for the
children
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), but can come with some costs (
namely
Punctuation problem
namely,
show examples
 increased medical risk for
parents
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 and
child
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).In my opinion, the advantages are more significant than its disadvantages.
This
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 approach has recently gained a lot of traction.One of the obvious reasons is to have financial freedom
,
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;
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 having
children
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 at a later age increases one's chances to pay off their debts and increase their savings.
Linking Words
Thus
Use the right word
This
show examples
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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relieving
Wrong verb form
relieves
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 some of the financial burden when raising a
child
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.
Furthermore
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, since it is a very big responsibility to raise
children
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, it is necessary that the
parents
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 have proper mental growth when they reach
this
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 stage.Delaying
this
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 phase of life ensures that both wife and husband have developed the mental capacity to care and provide for their
children
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.
However
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, it has its limits.The most significant drawback is that the possibility of medical incidents increases.It is known that having
children
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 later can increase the likelihood of miscarriages and chromosomal abnormalities;
this
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 obviously harms the
children
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but
Punctuation problem
, but
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 can
also
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 take a toll on the
parents
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' mental health as well.
Moreover
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, older
parents
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 have the physical energy to keep up with the physical needs of a young
child
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 compared to young
parents
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.
While
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this
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 trend has drawbacks like a rise in the possibility of medical complications or the reduced energy of older
parents
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, its benefits , like having funds to facilitate the
children
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's needs and having mental
growth
Punctuation problem
growth,
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 outweigh the disadvantages.Nowadays, with inflation at an all-time high, it is necessary to have enough profits to provide to
child
Use synonyms
 with the best facilities in order to guarantee a successful future.

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task
Plan what you will say. Have a short start (intro), then 2-3 clear ideas in the body, and end with a clear view in the end.
coherence
Make the ideas fit in order. Start each paragraph with a topic sentence that shows its main idea, then add proof.
language
Use simple words and short sentences. Check where a sentence runs long or has wrong marks.
content
The writer shows a clear view at the start and end.
coherence
Linking words like 'Furthermore' and 'However' help show ideas.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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