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Band 6.5

The first table below shows changes in the total population of New York City from 1800 to 2000. The second and third tables show changes in the population of the five districts of the city (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) over the same period.

The first table below shows changes in the total population of New York City from 1800 to 2000. The second and third tables show changes in the population of the five districts of the city (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) over the same period.
The first table illustrates changes in the total
population
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 of New
York
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City
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during
Change preposition
between
show examples
 1800 and 2000. The second and third tables show how the
population
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 changed in the five districts of New
York
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City
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 over the same period from 1800 to 2000.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is evident that the total
population
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 of New
York
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City
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 experienced a dramatic climb. Meanwhile, the
percentage
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 of
total
Correct article usage
the total
show examples
population
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also
Linking Words
 showed an upward trend in all cities except Manhattan. Looking at the details,
while
Linking Words
 the
population
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 of Manhattan grew thirty times in the first
century
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, the
percentage
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 of
total
Correct article usage
the total
show examples
population
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 decreased marginally from 76% to 54%. In the second
century
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, the
population
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 declined slightly from 1,850,093 to 1,538,096
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 the
percentage
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 of
total
Correct article usage
the total
show examples
population
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 declined dramatically from 54% to 19%. In stark contrast, the
population
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 of other districts rose sharply over the period from 18,701 in 1800 to 6,471,089 in 2000. The
percentage
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 of
total
Correct article usage
the total
show examples
population
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 of other districts
also
Linking Words
 grew significantly at 22% in the first
century
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 and at 46% in the second
century
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, resulting in the total
population
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 of New
York
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City
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surged
Wrong verb form
surging
show examples
 from 79,216 to 8,009,185.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 80%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words population, york, city, percentage, century with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "changes" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "show" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "dramatic" was used 2 times.
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