IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Some people say governments should build sports facilities for professional athletes. Others believe that such facilities should be open to everyone. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

There is a group of individuals who
believes
Correct subject-verb agreement
believe
show examples
 that gyms should be built for trained sportsmen by authorities,
while
Linking Words
 others argue that these places should be available for every
citizens
Fix the agreement mistake
citizen
show examples
. I believe
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
 buildings should be open
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
only
professionals
Change preposition
to professionals
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both sides of the argument. Training facilities should be
achievable
Correct word choice
accessible
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 all
people
Use synonyms
, because there are some
people
Use synonyms
 who are talented in those areas, but have never tried
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 before.
This
Linking Words
 can give them a chance to discover their athletic skills.
For example
Linking Words
,
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
 famous basketball player, Kobe Bryant, joined the public sports hall, and one athlete saw the potential
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 him, and
encourged
Correct your spelling
encouraged
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
him.
As a
Linking Words
result
Add a comma
result,
show examples
 he
become
Wrong verb form
became
show examples
 one of the most talented
player
Fix the agreement mistake
players
show examples
 all over the world.
However
Linking Words
, I believe authorities should only consider qualified
people
Use synonyms
 on that matter. I think these
building
Fix the agreement mistake
buildings
show examples
 should only be available for the
people
Use synonyms
 who have been training
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
all
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
their
lives
Correct word choice
whole lives
show examples
. Because citizens who are not capable
to do
Change preposition
of doing
show examples
 some sports can hurt themselves by using special
equipments
Correct your spelling
equipment
.
According to
Linking Words
study
Correct article usage
a study
show examples
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
published in 2022,
reveals
Verb problem
apply
show examples
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 cause of most leg injuries is
unproper
Correct your spelling
improper
using
Replace the word
use
show examples
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
 tools. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
such
Linking Words
 facilities can nurture the potential of talented individuals, they
also
Linking Words
 carry the risk of causing preventable physical harm.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

planning
Make a clear plan before you write. Say the topic, then both sides, then your view.
grammar
Use short, simple sentences. Use common words.
development
Add more facts or clear examples to back each point.
content
Keep your main view steady and do not switch the stance in the same piece.
structure
The aim and plan are visible.
content
Your own view is stated.
content
There is a sense of balance by mentioning both sides.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: