IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many people think that the internet is terrible for both the individual person and for society. To what extent do you agree?

The world is totally different nowadays, especially after the
internet
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exists
Verb problem
apply
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. Some
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society
Fix the agreement mistake
societies
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 agree that the
internet
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 is something good and useful for
humans
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 and
society
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, several
people
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 think that the
internet
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 affects
humans
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 and culture in a bad way.
This
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 essay will examine my opinion, and to what extent do I agree abut that topic. I totally agree that the
internet
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 is terrible for the individual person. It is obvious that the communication between
people
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becomes
Wrong verb form
has become
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 less. The
internet
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 makes
people
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 prefer texting, video calls, and voice not rather than real acting and visits.
In addition
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, the speaking skills become less, because they do not use different vocabulary from their surroundings. By the time, that causes many depression issues.
community
Correct article usage
The community
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 are getting depressed because they are always alone with their mobiles and devices.
Finally
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, the
internet
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 gives
people
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 a takeaway . Much data is included on the
internet
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 on different topics, so that
people
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 can easily get much information without any effort. By passing time,
humans
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 will not use their brains, and that will decrease their brain skills for thinking.
However
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, I do not agree that the
internet
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 is terrible for
society
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. Just the opposite, the
internet
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 is something amazing and helpful for
society
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. The
Internet
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 helps governments to make several projects to help
nation
Correct article usage
the nation
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 in their daily lives. Many selling and shopping operations can be done on the
internet
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. That increases the profits in different fields.
Also
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, several deals and operations can be submitted by using the
internet
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. The airways sector is growing because of the
internet
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.
In addition
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, the whole global community becomes as one , because
people
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 know each other in different countries.
Finally
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, several bank procedures
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 and money
transfer
Fix the agreement mistake
transfers
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 can be done over the
internet
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. In conclusion, I partly agree that the
internet
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 is something terrible for
humans
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 and
association
Check wording
society
show examples
. The
internet
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 is damaging
people
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’s communication skills
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 and their brain activities.
On the other hand
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, the
internet
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 is very helpful for
society
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, because it is increasing many projects, making life easier and faster.

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structure
Make your view clear at the start of the essay and keep it in the end.
coherence
Each paragraph should have one main idea and start with a clear line.
grammar
Check grammar and spell well; short, simple sentences are best.
lexical
content
Give more exact examples to back each point.
content
You show a clear view on both sides of the topic.
structure
You try to use examples from life in your text.
vocabulary
You use simple words well.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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