IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people fail in school, but end up being successful in life. Why do you think that is the case? What is the most important thing to succeed in life?

Life
Use synonyms
 is changing nowadays. The
school
Use synonyms
 is not the only source of learning. That’s
way
Use the right word
why
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 several people fail in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school
Use synonyms
 but end up
being win
Wrong verb form
winning
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.
This
Linking Words
 essay needs my opinion to discuss that case, and gives
example
Correct article usage
an example
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 of what is the most important
of
Check wording
aspect of
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 being
success
Replace the word
successful
show examples
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life
Use synonyms
. Learning is something initial in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life
Use synonyms
. Not only for getting certificates, but
also
Linking Words
 for
jobs
Fix the agreement mistake
job
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 opportunities in the future. In my opinion, I see that students must have the full right to join schools and learn. That rule
agreed
Verb problem
is agreed
show examples
in
Change preposition
upon in
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 most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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countries. Some people fail in
school
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 because of different causes.
First,
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schooling depends on
limited
Correct article usage
a limited
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 and counted subjects.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
 the other hand,
life
Use synonyms
 gives humans more experiences.
In addition
Linking Words
, self-learning is much more effective than college
topics
Check wording
courses
show examples
. There are several factors to succeed in
life
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.
First,
Linking Words
being a good listener is a very recommended skill.
Second,
Linking Words
being patient all the way.
Third,
Linking Words
keep trying. Fourth, students must have healthy relationships. Fifth, people must have
a
Correct article usage
apply
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good communication with God.
Last
Linking Words
and
Correct word choice
but
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 not least, doing sports, having healthy food, getting minerals and
supplement
Fix the agreement mistake
supplements
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 will
helps
Wrong verb form
help
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 a lot to become a great person. In conclusion, now and again, humanity
drop
Correct subject-verb agreement
drops
show examples
 in
school
Use synonyms
, but their actual
life
Use synonyms
being
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
 great. It is not only about schools or universities, but
also
Linking Words
alternatives
Fix the agreement mistake
alternative
show examples
 elements in general. There are several agents that
related
Verb problem
are related
show examples
 to success in their journey.

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task response
Give a clear answer to the question. In your essay, say why some people do well later and name the one thing that is most important to succeed.
coherence cohesion
Make a plan. Put one idea in each paragraph. Use simple links like first, also, but, so.
language
Use easy words and small grammar. Check spelling and big words before you write.
structure
Write a short intro that shows your view, 2 or 3 body paragraphs with reasons, and a short conclusion.
content
The idea is about life learning and school.
content
Some points show how life can teach us.
structure
The writer tries to answer the task.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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