IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animal. Others say that there are more important environmental problem. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

The
Linking Words
last
Correct word choice
recent
show examples
 years, our planet has
being experienced
Wrong verb form
been experiencing
show examples
 different kinds of environmental
problems
Use synonyms
. Some of those issues are related to human actions which have affected the living things in the world. In consequence, I really believe that the main environmental
problems
Use synonyms
 are the loss of plants and animals, and other
problems
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as pollution
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 and climate change. Unfortunately, these events have impacted
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 badly.
Firstly
Linking Words
, loss of particular species of plants and animals has had a huge impact on the ecosystems
due to
Linking Words
food
Use synonyms
 chains and the other interactions between living and
no-living
Use the right word
non-living
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 things have been broken.
For instance
Linking Words
, if in a rain forest
dissapears
Verb problem
apply
show examples
any plant
, the
Verb problem
disappears, the
show examples
 herbivores won't be able to get their
food
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 at the same time, the other consumers of the
food
Use synonyms
 chain
like
Punctuation problem
, like
show examples
 carnivores, can't get their
food
Use synonyms
neither
Correct word choice
either
show examples
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, cycles
as
Change preposition
of
show examples
 nitrogen and carbon will be affected negatively
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
as a result
Linking Words
, the ecosystem will be destroyed.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the production of medicine from plants and animals will be reduced because of
lack
Correct article usage
the lack
show examples
 of those species.
Secondly
Linking Words
, water and air pollution and climate change can be considered
like
Change preposition
as
show examples
 other important environmental
problems
Use synonyms
. They have impacted
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Check wording
people's
show examples
life
Replace the word
living
show examples
 conditions, and have contributed to
cut
Wrong verb form
cutting
show examples
 down on resources to achieve a good lifestyle.
For example
Linking Words
, the
children
Check wording
children's
show examples
 health has been affected because of water polluted after drinking it.
Moreover
Linking Words
, old people have gotten respiratory diseases related to the increase of dangered gases which are produced by factories and
car's
Check wording
cars'
show examples
 emissions. 
To sum up
Linking Words
, and
according to
Linking Words
 these ideas shown up above, I believe that loss is species, pollution, and climate change are current
problems
Use synonyms
 that require being driven by our governments and by all of us in order to decrease the impact of them in our life developing actions to improve the use of renewable and non-renewable resources from our homes, jobs and schools.

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task response
In the intro, give a clear idea of the view you will state and show you will discuss both sides.
task response
In the body, try to balance the view more. Give more proof for both sides and more on your own view.
coherence
Use simple linking words to show flow and order, like first, also, but, however, so.
coherence
Finish with a clear conclusion that restates your view.
language
Check grammar and spelling. Try to keep sentences short and fix common errors.
language
Fix small form errors: plural s, 'people's' instead of 'people life', etc.
content
You show a plan to talk about both ideas and to give your own view.
example
You use examples from nature to show cause and effect in an easy way.
content
Your view is clear in some lines and you answer the prompt.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • life
  • plants
  • animals
  • many kinds of life
  • variety of life
  • home for life
  • loss
  • danger
  • problem
  • important
  • view
  • others
  • we
  • can
  • should
  • climate change
  • pollution
  • waste
  • plastic
  • energy
  • air
  • water
  • soil
  • health
  • food
  • farms
  • crops
  • pollination (simple term)
  • forests
  • forests
  • medicine
  • save
  • protect
  • plan
  • action
  • steps
  • local
  • world
  • future
  • recycle
  • reuse
  • reduce
  • plant trees
  • save forests
  • cooperation
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