IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The chart below shows how many films were produced by five countries in the time period

The chart below shows how many films were produced by five countries in the time period
The bar chart below compares how many movies were made by 5 countries (A, B, C, D, E) between 2007 and 2009
Overall
Linking Words
, 5 countries had different trends in the
time
Use synonyms
 period.
While
Linking Words
Use synonyms
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
 A and B had the highest results,
Use synonyms
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
 C, D and E had a very tiny
number
Use synonyms
. As the bar chart shows,
country
Use synonyms
 A had almost 90 films in 2007.
This
Linking Words
 figure had no change in 2008, but in 2009, the
number
Use synonyms
 fell to 80. Regarding
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
country
Use synonyms
 B had 48 films in 2007.
This
Linking Words
 figure increased to 50 in 2008, and in the next year, it reached the highest point, having 70 movies. At the same
time
Use synonyms
, region C had 7 in 2007, followed by a double increase, reaching 14 in 2008. The
number
Use synonyms
 reached 19 in 2009.
By
Change preposition
At
show examples
 the same
time
Use synonyms
,
country
Use synonyms
 D had a fluctuation. In 2007, it had 16, followed by
decrease
Correct article usage
a decrease
show examples
 to 10 in 2008.
Figure
Correct article usage
The figure
show examples
 grew to 16 again in 2009. Regarding
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
country
Use synonyms
 E had the lowest result and almost no change in the
time
Use synonyms
 period. In 2007, it had the
number
Use synonyms
 of 10, which grew to 11 and 12 in 2008 and 2009, respectively.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words time, country, number with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: