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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The number of students studying science at university is constantly declining. What do you think are the causes? What effects will this have on our society?

In today’s world
Use synonyms
students'
Punctuation problem
, students'
show examples
 orientation on their
future
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projection
Fix the agreement mistake
projections
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are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 transforming into a whole new thing.
By
Change preposition
According to
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 data, in
2025
Punctuation problem
2025,
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 the majority of
students
Use synonyms
 want to be a
Use synonyms
Youtuber
Use the right word
YouTuber
show examples
 because they think it is an easy job and produces a lot of money.
Students
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consistently
Verb problem
are consistently
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 being exposed
by
Change preposition
to
show examples
 a
Use synonyms
Youtuber
Use the right word
YouTuber
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that
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 shows their lavish lifestyle.
This
Linking Words
 situation discourages
students
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 from studying hard, especially entering fields like
medicines
Fix the agreement mistake
medicine
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,
engineers
Replace the word
engineering
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 and
scientists
Replace the word
science
show examples
. Those situations will slow down the rapid development of science.
Students
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 grow into
an
Correct article usage
apply
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individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
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 with
orientation
Correct article usage
an orientation
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 to become a
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Youtuber
Use the right word
YouTuber
show examples
,
as a result
Linking Words
 of the constant exposure
from
Change preposition
to
show examples
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
Use synonyms
Youtuber content of lavish lifestyle
Correct word order
lavish lifestyle of YouTuber content
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.
Students
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 are obsessed with producing a lot of money in a short time. They do not want to do any jobs that require hard work to achieve
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 kind of perception is born
as a result
Linking Words
 of content that shows extravagant lifestyles.
In addition
Linking Words
, many
students
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 view being a
YouTuber
Use synonyms
 as effortless and financially rewarding, but in truth, success in any career requires dedication and persistence.
In addition
Linking Words
, these situations will affect the world’s
future
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. If the younger generation is unwilling to pursue careers in science, technological
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 research development may stagnate, leaving major issues
such
Linking Words
 as climate change, renewable energy, and public health
unresolv
Correct your spelling
unresolved
. Without innovation, societies risk economic setbacks and a lower quality of life.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is crucial to encourage young people to enter scientific fields to secure sustainable development and technological progress. In conclusion, the increasing desire among
students
Use synonyms
 to pursue careers as
Youtubers
Use the right word
YouTubers
show examples
, largely driven by the glamorous lifestyles, poses a serious challenge to the
future
Use synonyms
 of science.
While
Linking Words
 content creation may appear attractive and financially rewarding, society cannot afford to neglect professions
such
Linking Words
 as medicine, engineering, and
scientist
Replace the word
science
show examples
, which are essential for solving global challenges. Encouraging the younger generation to value hard work and contribute is vital to ensuring continued innovation, sustainable growth, and a better quality of life for
future
Use synonyms
 generations.

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task response
Plan your essay. First give a short view, then talk about causes, then talk about effects, and finish with a short note.
task response
Give clear, simple ideas for each point. Use one idea per paragraph and give a small, real example to stand for it.
coherence cohesion
Use clear links to show flow. Use words like first, next, also, but, so to connect ideas.
coherence cohesion
Fix small grammar mistakes. Watch for wrong spellings like unresolv. Keep each sentence short and easy.
coherence cohesion
Make the conclusion very clear. Rest the main point and end with a hopeful thought.
content
The essay has a clear view that many students want to be a YouTuber, which is easy to see.
coherence
Good use of some linking words to show flow between ideas.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • perceive
  • challenging
  • demanding
  • humanities
  • exposure
  • discourage
  • financial incentives
  • shortage
  • skilled professionals
  • technological progress
  • innovation
  • economic growth
  • global challenges
  • scientific literacy
  • informed decisions
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