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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the number of households in the US by their annual income in 2007, 2011 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the number of households in the US by their annual income in 2007, 2011 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The bar chart provides information by classifying
Use synonyms
number
Correct article usage
the number
show examples
 of
houses
Use synonyms
' income per year in
US
Correct article usage
the US
show examples
 in the years 2007,2011
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 2015.
Overall
Linking Words
, when we look at the
informations
Correct your spelling
information
 in 2007 and 2015, households
Correct pronoun usage
that makes
show examples
makes
Correct subject-verb agreement
make
show examples
money
Use synonyms
 100000
dollars
Use synonyms
 or more
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 the
most
Correct word choice
highest
show examples
number
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 the range of 75000
dollars
Use synonyms
 - 99999
dollars
Use synonyms
 has the lowest
number
Use synonyms
.
Also
Linking Words
, all of
ranges
Correct article usage
the ranges
show examples
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 remained steady almost except
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 100000
dollars
Use synonyms
 or more and less than 25000
dollars
Use synonyms
.
Use synonyms
Number
Correct article usage
The number
show examples
 of
houses
Use synonyms
 that
makes
Wrong verb form
made
show examples
money
Use synonyms
 less than 25000
dollars
Use synonyms
was
Verb problem
apply
show examples
increased slightly from 25
Use synonyms
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
 in 2007 to about 27.5 million in 2015.
In addition
Linking Words
 to
this
Linking Words
, there
are
Verb problem
is are
show examples
 gradual increase over the period in the
houses
Use synonyms
 that
makes
Correct subject-verb agreement
make
show examples
money
Use synonyms
 100000
dolars
Correct your spelling
dollars
 or more by approximately 8 million.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
number
Correct article usage
the number
show examples
 of
houses
Use synonyms
 which
gain
Wrong verb form
gained
show examples
money
Use synonyms
 in the range of 50000 - 74999
dollars
Use synonyms
 was unchanged throughout 8 years
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 it was over 20
Use synonyms
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, there
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
steadiness
Check wording
stability
show examples
 in
Use synonyms
number
Correct article usage
the number
show examples
 of households by not changing at around 15
Use synonyms
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
 for 8 years.
However
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
number
Correct article usage
the number
show examples
 of households which
makes
Correct subject-verb agreement
make
show examples
money
Use synonyms
 in the range of 25000
dollars
Use synonyms
 - 49999
dollars
Use synonyms
 had
also
Linking Words
slight
Correct article usage
a slight
show examples
 rise and reached its peak in 2011 by reaching about 30
Use synonyms
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
. After that, it had
gradual
Correct article usage
a gradual
show examples
 decline from 30
Use synonyms
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
 to about 27.5
Use synonyms
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words number, houses, money, dollars, millions with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gradual" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • household distribution
  • income brackets
  • annual income
  • percentage change
  • trend analysis
  • income group
  • significant increase/decrease
  • steady growth/decline
  • fluctuations
  • compared to
  • in contrast
  • notably
  • median income
  • poverty line
  • economic factors
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