IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

People in many countries are spending less time with their family. What are the reasons, and effects of this? Huy Cao

There
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
humens
Correct your spelling
humans
 who
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 wasting
time
Use synonyms
 they don'
t
Use synonyms
set
Verb problem
spend
show examples
 with
there
Use the right word
their
show examples
 family , there are many things that
let
Verb problem
prevent
show examples
 those people
don'
Wrong verb form
from staying
show examples
t
Use synonyms
 stay and
talk
Wrong verb form
talking
show examples
 with
there
Use the right word
their
show examples
 family . In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
humens
Correct your spelling
humans
 must spend
time
Use synonyms
 with
there
Use the right word
their
show examples
 family .
To begin
Linking Words
 with , some people
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
don'
t
Use synonyms
 love spending
time
Use synonyms
 with the family . In other
word
Fix the agreement mistake
words
show examples
,
humens
Correct your spelling
humans
 who don'
t
Use synonyms
 want
spend
Verb problem
to spend
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 with
there
Use the right word
their
show examples
familes
Correct your spelling
families
 because they see there are
maney
Correct your spelling
many
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 when they
set
Use the right word
sit
show examples
 with them .
In addition
Linking Words
 , there are many reasons
let
Verb problem
that keep
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
stay
Verb problem
apply
show examples
away from
there
Use the right word
their
show examples
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
 , playing video games , he
don'
Correct subject-verb agreement
doesn't
show examples
t
Use synonyms
 love to speak or listen , using social
midea
Correct your spelling
media
, getting out
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the home for a long
time
Use synonyms
 .
Before
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2 years
ago
Punctuation problem
ago,
show examples
 I
donsn'
Verb problem
didn't
show examples
t
Use synonyms
set
Use the right word
sit
show examples
 with my family because I was using my phone every
time
Use synonyms
after
Punctuation problem
. After
show examples
that
Punctuation problem
that,
show examples
 I
treated
Verb problem
addressed
show examples
this
Linking Words
 problem
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 every
time
Use synonyms
 I spend
time
Use synonyms
 with my family . Another point to consider is that ,in
this
Linking Words
problem
Add a comma
problem,
show examples
 there are many effects because when
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
person
Use synonyms
wasting
Wrong verb form
wastes
show examples
 his
time
Use synonyms
 without his
family
Punctuation problem
family,
show examples
 he will be crazy and he
don'
Correct subject-verb agreement
doesn't
show examples
t
Use synonyms
now
Use the right word
know
show examples
 how to do
any thing
Use the right word
anything
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
 , the
humen
Correct your spelling
human
he
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
will be hated
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
 the community because the community
before
Punctuation problem
, before
show examples
when
Rephrase
apply
show examples
they see the
Use synonyms
person
Punctuation problem
person,
show examples
 they see how his
rilationship
Correct your spelling
relationship
 with his family , the
person
Use synonyms
 will be
lonley
Correct your spelling
lonely
, he don'
t
Use synonyms
 know how to act . In conclusion, spending
time
Use synonyms
 with family
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is essential ,
give
Wrong verb form
giving
show examples
 the
person
Use synonyms
 very positive things , it will impact
his
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
conversation
Punctuation problem
conversation,
show examples
he
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 will be a good speaker because
he
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 spend
his
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
time
Use synonyms
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
speaking .

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planning
Plan before writing. Put one main idea in each paragraph and end with a short sum up.
writing
Use simple, clear sentences. Check grammar and word form.
coherence
Link ideas with words like because, so, also, but.
examples
Give one or two clear examples for each point.
content
The writer states a clear view that family time is important.
structure
There is an attempt to use examples and personal voice.
organization
There are three parts: intro, body, and conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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