IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Fresh water has always been a limited resources in some parts of world. Today, however, growing world wide demand has been made this is global issue. What are the cause of this increased demand, what measurement can government and individuals take to respond to this problem?

There is growing concern about the rising global
demand
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 for fresh
water
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.
While
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water
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 scarcity has traditionally affected only certain regions, it has now become a worldwide problem.
This
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 essay will discuss the main causes of
this
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 increased
demand
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 and suggest steps that both governments and individuals can take to address the issue. One major cause is rapid population growth, which increases the amount of
water
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 needed for drinking, sanitation, and agriculture. As more people are born, more
water
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 is required to produce food and maintain hygiene standards. Another reason is industrial and economic development. Expanding industries and urbanisation consume vast amounts of
water
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 in manufacturing processes, construction, and energy production.
Lastly
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, climate change has worsened the situation by causing droughts and reducing rainfall in many areas, making existing
water
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 sources less reliable and increasing competition for them. Governments can implement several effective measures.
First,
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they can invest in
water
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 infrastructure,
such
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 as modern irrigation systems and
water
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 recycling plants, to use
water
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 more efficiently. They can
also
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 introduce laws to control
water
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 pollution, ensuring that available freshwater sources are not wasted
due to
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 contamination.
Furthermore
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, governments can educate the public and run awareness campaigns about
water
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 conservation, especially in schools and communities. Individuals
also
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 play an important role. They can reduce
water
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 waste at home by fixing leaks, using
water
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-saving appliances, and avoiding excessive
water
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 use when washing or gardening. People can
also
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 support sustainable consumption by choosing products and food items that require less
water
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 to produce. By making small daily changes, individuals collectively can reduce
overall
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water
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demand
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. In conclusion, the growing
demand
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 for fresh
water
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 is driven by population growth, industrialisation, and climate change.
However
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,
this
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 challenge can be tackled through a combination of government policies and individual actions aimed at using
water
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 more responsibly. If both work together, it is possible to protect
this
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 essential resource for future generations.

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improvement
Keep the answer simple and clear. Add one more real life example to show depth.
improvement
Make each paragraph have one main idea and use linking words to join ideas.
improvement
Use basic words only and keep short sentences to fit the top 100 word limit.
improvement
Check grammar and punctuation in long sentences to avoid mistakes.
structure
The essay has a clear plan with intro, body and conclusion.
content
Ideas are well listed and easy to follow.
content
Cause and effect are clear.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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