IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Modern buildings change the character and appearance of towns and cities. The government should insist that new buildings be built in traditional styles to protect cultural identity. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There is a noticeable change in the design of contemporary
buildings
Use synonyms
 in urban areas. It is argued that
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 should take action to preserve
cultural
Correct article usage
the cultural
show examples
style
Use synonyms
 of building by demanding a certain
style
Use synonyms
 to be used. I completely disagree with
this
Linking Words
 opinion because
old
Use the right word
old-style
show examples
style
Use synonyms
 building no longer fits the image of cities.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, basic facilities required in modern
buildings
Use synonyms
 can be very difficult to implement in
old
Use the right word
old-style
show examples
style
Use synonyms
buildings
Use synonyms
. Because the
style
Use synonyms
that is
Linking Words
 part of our cultural identity was created back in the
middle ages
Fix capitalization
Middle Ages
show examples
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 makes it very different to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
modern
Use the right word
modern-style
show examples
style
Use synonyms
buildings
Use synonyms
. The ones built recently
focuses
Correct subject-verb agreement
focus
show examples
 on many factors like saving energy, water and making it as comfortable as possible
while
Linking Words
 using very few
recourses
Use the right word
resources
show examples
. But
buildings
Use synonyms
 in traditional designs
requires
Correct subject-verb agreement
require
show examples
 a lot of space
while
Linking Words
 fitting very few
people
Use synonyms
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 results in the waste of a lot of valuable
recourses
Use the right word
resources
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, there are old building in my city that are well-preserved
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 requires a lot of effort to maintain them
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
Linking Words
besides
Punctuation problem
besides,
show examples
 only 1 family can live there. So old
buildings
Use synonyms
 can be very redundant compared to modern ones.
Secondly
Linking Words
, most residents of cities embrace modernity. They want to live in a modern world facilitated
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
 advanced technologies.
Linking Words
Besides
Punctuation problem
Besides,
show examples
 society as
whole
Correct article usage
a whole
show examples
 prefers changes and development.
For example
Linking Words
, Samarkand and Bukhara
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 are historical cities of
Uzbekistan
Punctuation problem
Uzbekistan,
show examples
 are full of
old
Use the right word
old-style
show examples
style
Use synonyms
buildings
Use synonyms
. Still,
people
Use synonyms
 live in modern high
building apartments
Check wording
apartment buildings
show examples
, leaving old
buildings
Use synonyms
 as cultural parks and tourist attractions. So
living
Punctuation problem
, living
show examples
 in a society where
people
Use synonyms
 want modern changes, it is not very effective to build in traditional styles. In conclusion, I am totally against the idea that the government should force
Correct article usage
the constructing
show examples
constructing
Replace the word
construction
show examples
Use synonyms
buildings
Change preposition
of buildings
show examples
 in traditional ways, because old
buildings
Use synonyms
 cannot store the recent facilities that we have
reated
Correct your spelling
created
,
aslo
Correct your spelling
also
people
Use synonyms
 actually prefer to live in modern
buildings
Use synonyms
.

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structure
Add a clear intro that states your view and what you will say.
content
Use 2-3 main ideas and link them to the task, with simple examples.
coherence
Write topic sentences to begin each paragraph.
grammar
Check grammar and spelling, fix long sentences.
stability
Clear stance against the proposal.
content
Gives real city examples to back points.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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