IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The success of a business or sports team depends more on the leader of that team than on the individual team members. This is because it is the leader who makes sure everyone works together to achieve the team's goals. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some argue that the
success
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 of a
business
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 or
sports
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team
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 relies more heavily on the
leader
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 than on individual
team
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members
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, as it is the
leader
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 who ensures coordination and unity.
While
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 I agree that strong
leadership
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 is crucial, I believe that individual contributions are equally important, and
success
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 is best achieved through a balance between the two. A skilled
leader
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 plays a vital role in setting direction, maintaining
team
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 morale, and ensuring that each member works towards a common goal. In both
business
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 and
sports
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, a good
leader
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 can motivate the
team
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, make strategic decisions, and manage conflicts effectively.
For example
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, successful coaches in
sports
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 often turn average teams into champions through discipline, vision, and tactical expertise.
However
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,
leadership
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 alone cannot guarantee
success
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. Without talented and committed individuals, even the best leaders will struggle to achieve results.
Team
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members
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 bring the skills, creativity, and effort needed to execute the
leader
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's vision. In
business
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, innovative ideas often come from employees rather than executives.
Similarly
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, in
sports
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, the performance of individual athletes during a match often determines the outcome, regardless of how strong the
leadership
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 is.
Therefore
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, I believe that
leadership
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 and individual contribution are interdependent. A
leader
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 provides the structure and guidance, but it is the collective effort of all
members
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 that leads to
success
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. Conclusion: In conclusion,
while
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leadership
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 is undoubtedly important, the
success
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 of a
business
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 or
sports
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team
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 depends equally on the dedication and performance of individual
team
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members
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. Both elements must work in harmony to achieve shared goals.

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structure
Make your main view clear in the first line and keep it in each paragraph
examples
Use more exact examples with numbers or facts to back up your point
grammar
Shorten long sentences and use simple words to avoid hard read
style
Keep one idea in each paragraph and use simple links to join ideas
content
Balanced view on leader and team
structure
Clear intro and finish
coherence
Good flow of ideas with linking words

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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