You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Many people assume that the goal of every country should be to produce more materials and goods. To what extent do you agree or disagree that constantly increasing production is an appropriate goal? You should write at least 250 words.
In today's world, a huge part of many nations believe in increasing the number of needed products and goods. I truly agree with
this
statement as improving production will make the countries
stronger economically and will offer many jobs for the nations.
First and foremost, producing more materials
will help the country to improve its financial situation. They will be able to improve their trading with other countries
,
and in Remove the comma
apply
this
way their relationship with them which will give them a good reputation and privileges. In addition
, their currency will be more effective, and buying goods will be much cheaper for the societies. For example
, since the USA is well known for producing many materials
, its currency has a great effect on the world.
Secondly
, as the production of the materials
will elevate, many factories will expand the numbers of their employees. High demand for products will create huge pressure on the companies, so to cover this
problem they will employ a lot of people. As a result
, the percentage of unemployed people will decrease, and the quality of life of the folks who live in these countries
will be better. For instance
, after focusing on developing the production, the lives of the German citizens have changed in a positive way.
In conclusion, in my opinion, countries
should pay attention to increasing the amount of goods and materials
produced, as it will help them to be independent and provide a good way of living for their residents which will reflect on the country's image.Submitted by okalqusay on
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task achievement
Consider varying your sentence structures and using a wider range of vocabulary to enhance the sophistication of your writing. This will make your essay more engaging and demonstrate your language proficiency.
coherence cohesion
Some of your ideas could be elaborated more fully. For instance, the point about how increased production leads to better economic relationships could be expanded with more detailed examples or additional reasoning.
task achievement
Pay attention to minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing, such as "a huge part of many nations." More accurate phrases could improve the clarity and professionalism of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Using more transition words and phrases can create a smoother flow between your ideas and paragraphs. Words like 'Moreover,' 'Additionally,' and 'Consequently' can help tie your arguments together more effectively.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear and structured introduction and conclusion, which helps to frame your arguments effectively.
task achievement
You provided specific examples to support your arguments, which strengthens your points and makes your essay more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
The main points are logically arranged and relevant to the question, addressing the prompt thoroughly.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.