IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In the modern world, it is possible to shop, work and communicate with people via the Internet and live without any face-to-face contact with others. Is it a positive or negative development in your opinion?

With the development of technology,
people
Use synonyms
 can interact with others through online meetings. Personally, I partly agree with
this
Linking Words
 innovation based on some reasons that are explained in the essay. The advantage of shopping, working and communicating through
non face-to-face
Use the right word
non-face-to-face
show examples
 contact is its convenience. In the digital market,
people
Use synonyms
 can easily view products, check prices and even pick styles.
For example
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 can buy products through the Amazon online market with a variety of
stuff
Check wording
products
show examples
 from all over the world at a solid price.
People
Use synonyms
 who work
in
Change preposition
at
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 far distance can
also
Linking Words
be benefited
Wrong verb form
benefit
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by
Change preposition
from
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 faceless interaction. In some specific technology jobs
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
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 as editor, streamer,
people
Use synonyms
 even work at home with ease by using an app called OBS, which supports not only
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
adjusting videos, but
also
Linking Words
 recording moments.
Moreover
Linking Words
, online works
also
Linking Words
 give opportunities to access
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a larger number of customers when distance is no longer a problem, especially for worldwide trades.
However
Linking Words
, the dominance of online meetings
also
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pose
Correct subject-verb agreement
poses
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 potential threats to the community in many ways. Thanks to the development of technology, the
Internet
Use synonyms
now has
Correct word order
has now
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 become a paradise for hackers and online
frauds
Use the right word
fraudsters
show examples
 to
scam
Verb problem
steal
show examples
 information,
even
Correct word choice
and even
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 the government finds it hard to fight against these individuals. In 2018, Russia’s private database was accessed by a single young hacker
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 he stole many vital secret files
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
then
Linking Words
 it took them 2 years for the whole national army to arrest him.
Moreover
Linking Words
, teenagers and elderly
people
Use synonyms
 who have
an
Correct article usage
apply
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experienced
shortage
Correct article usage
a shortage
show examples
 in using the
Internet
Use synonyms
 are the main victims of these predators. By setting up a simple trap, many
people
Use synonyms
 can easily
be stuck
Verb problem
fall
show examples
 into,which leads to the loss of things
such
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 as
account
Fix the agreement mistake
accounts
show examples
, money that could cost up to thousands of dollars. It is undeniable that the
Internet
Use synonyms
 is extremely hazardous for users when cybercrime exists.
However
Linking Words
, the drawback is eclipsed by its convenience
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 the
Internet
Use synonyms
 is becoming more and more vital in global enhancement.

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task response
Make your view clear at the start or end. A single clear say of yes or no makes the task easier to judge.
task response
Back up your point with ideas that fit. Try to connect each idea to your view and explain how it supports it.
coherence and cohesion
Link your ideas with small words like and, but, also, for example to help flow.
grammar
Check small grammar and word use so your meaning stays clear.
content
You give both good sides and a view.
content
Examples from shopping and work help the point feel real.
strength
The ending note shows that the net is useful in life.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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