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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe a children should stay at school until the age of 18 other . People believe that children should be allowed to leave school when they are 1 4 year old Discuss both these views and give your own opinion .

In recent times , education has been a topic of interest ,
while
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 some might hold the belief that people believe
children
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 should be allowed to leave the
academy
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 when they are 14 years old .
However
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, I hold the view that
children
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 should stay at the
academy
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 until the age of 18 . The following essay will shed light on these viewpoints. On the one hand , it is essential to acknowledge the significant advantages associated with
children
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 staying at an
academy
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 until the age of 18 . A critical consideration is that
,
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apply
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having higher education opportunities highlights that they enhance work and widen knowledge . Finishing high school plays an important role in helping
children
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 pursue professional careers ,
such
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 as doctors , teachers , and engineers
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. In
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in addition
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, another important point to emphasise is having many opportunities to look for a job with high income .
On the other hand
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 , it is crucial to examine the opposing viewpoint that
children
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 should be allowed to leave the
academy
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 when they are 14 years old . A key factor to explore is that , maybe looking for work and having income , which underscores that it could help the family and worry about life
further
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 . It is essential to highlight that having more time to apprentice and having much time to rest . In conclusion , despite of benefits that
children
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 should stay at the
academy
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 until the age of 18 , others could offer to help the country have quality human resources and develop . I’m of the opinion that
children
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 leave school when they are 14 years old . The future will affect the country’s development , and
Correct pronoun usage
it
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cannot keep up with today’s digital technology.

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clarity
Be clear in your view and keep it steady in all parts of the essay.
development
Give reasons for each point and link them to the overall idea.
structure
Use one idea per sentence and start each paragraph with a clear topic sentence.
grammar
Fix grammar and punctuation to avoid long, hard to read lines.
content
Add simple, relatable examples to support your points.
structure
The essay has an intro, body, and conclusion.
content
It shows both views are mentioned.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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