IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that men and women possess different skills. According to them certain jobs are more suitable for men than women. There are also some jobs where women perform better. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Nowadays,
women
Use synonyms
 compete with
men
Use synonyms
 in almost all
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sectors
Use synonyms
 and have
also
Linking Words
 proven their mettle. When we talk about intellectual capabilities,
men
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 and
women
Use synonyms
 are considered equal
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
Linking Words
however
Punctuation problem
however,
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 there are certain fields where gender plays a crucial role in terms of recruitment. There are still some areas of employment
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 which are more suitable for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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men
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 than
women
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 and vice versa.
This
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 essay
agress
Correct your spelling
agrees
 with
this
Linking Words
 fact and will
further
Linking Words
 explicate my opinion. To commence with, there is no denying
in
Change preposition
apply
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the fact that
men
Use synonyms
 and
women
Use synonyms
 are physically different. Males are physiologically more heavily built up and possess extra muscular strength, as compared to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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females, which makes them more suitable for performing jobs involving laborious tasks
such
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 as heavy lifting, etc.
Hence
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, they were more employed in work involving mechanics and mining.
Furthermore
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, boys are more practical and emotionally stable as compared to girls and can make difficult decisions more conveniently.
This
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 ability makes them more fitted for a job as
politician
Correct article usage
a politician
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, armyman, police officer, etc.
On the other hand
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,
women
Use synonyms
 are more passionate and caring, making them an apt candidate for employment
sectors
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,
such
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 as education,
nurses
Replace the word
nursing
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, etc. Females
makes
Correct subject-verb agreement
make
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 the best teachers in the
world
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 because they have an innate capacity to preach and impart knowledge.
Moreover
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, the sensitivity of ladies to oversee and understand the emotional aspect of a person's
doings
Check wording
actions
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,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 makes them
an
Correct article usage
apply
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excellent social
worker
Fix the agreement mistake
workers
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 and peace promoters.
For example
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, Mother Teresa was a
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world famous
Use the right word
world-famous
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 personality, who won
Correct article usage
the noble
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noble prize
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Nobel Prize
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 for promoting peace all over the
world
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.
Apart from
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this
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, there has been an increase in equity, in
amost
Correct your spelling
almost
 all the
sectors
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, among the two genders. Earlier,
men
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 were thought to be best with numbers or science.
However
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,
women
Use synonyms
 have proved to be equal to
men
Use synonyms
 in these fields and have showcased their talents. They have even proved themselves to be fitted for the roles involving more physical activities
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
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 as
armed
Correct article usage
the armed
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 forces, etc. Henceforth, there is an increase in equality
among
Change preposition
between
show examples
 the two species in the modern
world
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.
To conclude
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, we can say that gender used to play an important role in many employment
sectors
Use synonyms
.
Men
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 were hired more than
women
Use synonyms
 for jobs
such
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 as engineers, army officers, mining, etc
as
Punctuation problem
, as
show examples
 they have more
body-strength
Use the right word
body strength
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 as compared to females
who
Punctuation problem
, who
show examples
 were more suited for soft skills
such
Linking Words
 as teaching, nursing, etc. But,
this
Linking Words
 trend has drastically shifted in
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 couple of years.
Women
Use synonyms
 have now
showed
Wrong verb form
shown
show examples
 to be equally talented and confident to perform almost all the duties that involve both cerebral and physical strength.

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Task Response
State a clear position in the intro and keep this view in every paragraph.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use topic sentences and link ideas with simple words like first, also, but, however.
Language
Check grammar: fix noun-verb form and use short, plain sentences.
Structure
The writer shows a clear view about the topic.
Organization
There is an introduction and a conclusion.
Content
Some examples are used to support ideas.
Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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