Some people think that the best way to improve road safety is to increase the minimum legal age for driving a car or motorbike. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Although
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stricter traffic regulations are often proposed to reduce the number of
accidents
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, some argue that the legal age of
drivers
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should be raised. I strongly disagree with
this
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view because
this
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practice does not address all the dangerous causes;
however
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, other measures are often considered more effective. Raising the legal age may promote confidence and quick decision-making skills, which can significantly improve the security of the public.
However
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, some older
drivers
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are still involved in drink and drive offences and impaired driving.
Therefore
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,
this
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action can not be considered the most effective solution. The most effective approach is enhanced driving classes and practical training, as
this
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helps
drivers
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to gain valuable experience. They will build the essential skills
such
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as maintaining distance between vehicles and understanding the traffic rules, which is a comprehensive attitude for being a skilful driver.
For example
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, those individuals who have graduated from licensed driving schools often cause fewer
accidents
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than other
drivers
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.
As a result
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, the educational part is very necessary to eliminate the root cause of the
accidents
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.
In addition
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to
this
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, increasing the availability and reliability of public transport can greatly improve transportation. If buses and trains are readily accessible on a regular basis, people are more likely to use them frequently. The fewer the private cars on roads, the fewer the collisions there will be, leading to a safe environment for the public. In conclusion, even though increasing the legal age may ameliorate traffic safety, the other alternatives can not be overlooked. Better educational training and enhanced public transport are highly beneficial, which fosters safer
accidents
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.

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task response
Be more clear about one main point and give more clear proof for it. End with a short, clear last line that restates your view.
coherence
Put ideas in a simple, clean order. Use words like first, next, and finally. Group ideas in one paragraph when they talk about one point.
response
The writer shows a clear view and does not hide from the topic.
support
Examples are used to back up ideas.
structure
The essay has a good plan with an intro, body and end.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • minimum legal age
  • road safety
  • cognitive skills
  • decision-making abilities
  • comprehensive driver education
  • unlicensed driving
  • economic implications
  • mobility
  • stricter enforcement
  • traffic laws
  • driver education
  • road accidents
  • mature and responsible
  • illegal driving
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