IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

International travel has many advantages to both travelers and the countries that they visit. Do the advantages of international travel outweigh the disadvantages?

It is a common belief that
tourism
Use synonyms
 is beneficial to both the nation and travellers. There are many positive aspects of
tourism
Use synonyms
,
such
Linking Words
 as increasing the economic growth of the
country
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 at the same time, it helps to satisfy
cultural
Correct article usage
the cultural
show examples
 hunger of an individual.
Although
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 there are some disadvantages of
tourism
Use synonyms
 as well, I believe that the advantages
overweigh
Verb problem
outweigh
show examples
 them.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
tourism
Use synonyms
 majorly contributes to the economy of a
country
Use synonyms
 because the host
country
Use synonyms
 that organises the travel system
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 earns a substantial amount of money from that. Apart from that, the
people
Use synonyms
 travelling would participate in various events happening in that nation, and the money spent by individuals to participate in them can help
improving
Wrong verb form
improve
show examples
recreational
Correct article usage
the recreational
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 infrastructure of a place.
For instance
Linking Words
, in Vietnam,
tourism
Use synonyms
 is the major source of income for
people
Use synonyms
, rather than other businesses.
Moreover
Linking Words
, there is an innate curiosity among
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 to explore different species and their living habits.
While
Linking Words
 travelling to a different
country
Use synonyms
, a person might come across different cultures and understand their value to the regional
people
Use synonyms
.
Thus
Linking Words
, travelling makes them earn
life-time
Use the right word
lifetime
show examples
 memories and
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
 them to enrich their cultural understanding, turning them into a cultured person.
For example
Linking Words
, most of the
people
Use synonyms
 travelling to India
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 are shocked to see the wide spectrum of traditional activities prevalent in the place and try to understand it.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, there are some
people
Use synonyms
 with
sceptical
Correct article usage
a sceptical
show examples
 mindset who believe that
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
 is harmed by the increased influx of
people
Use synonyms
 from different countries. To illustrate,
people
Use synonyms
 might throw waste
such
Linking Words
 as plastic here and there, which
being
Punctuation problem
, being
show examples
biodegradable
Punctuation problem
biodegradable,
show examples
 is likely to cause soil pollution.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, these issues can be easily handled by the government by implementing strict rules and
penalities
Use the right word
penalties
show examples
 for causing harm to a tourist place.
To conclude
Linking Words
, the disadvantage of causing concern for the environment is outweighed by boosting national finance and widening the knowledge of
one
Correct determiner usage
an
show examples
 individual.
Hence
Linking Words
, the essay would have shown that international
tourism
Use synonyms
 will bring a prevalence of benefits and will become an imperative field in the foreseeable future.

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task
Be clear on your main view in every part of the essay.
coherence
Give one main idea in each paragraph and add proof for it.
coherence
Use linking words to tie ideas in a smooth flow.
examples
Give more exact and real examples that show your point.
grammar
Check and fix small errors in spelling and grammar to be clear.
task
The essay makes a clear view that benefits can come from travel.
coherence
There is a real intro and ending, with a plan in the text.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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