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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the number of three types of visitor to a museum between 1997 and 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the number of three types of visitor to a museum between 1997 and 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The bar chart illustrates the numbers of three types of visitors to a museum
including
Punctuation problem
, including
show examples
 Adult, Aged under 15, and Special Exhibition
between
Punctuation problem
, between
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 the
years
Use synonyms
 1997 to
2012
Punctuation problem
2012,
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 with 5-year intervals. From the bar chart we can clearly see that
in
Change preposition
from
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 1997 to 2002 there is a
slightly increasing
Replace the word
slight increase
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 in the adults,
then
Linking Words
 it started to
become
Verb problem
grow
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a
Correct article usage
apply
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sharply
growing
Verb problem
apply
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in 2007
reaching
Punctuation problem
, reaching
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to
Change preposition
apply
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400,500, but it
fall
Wrong verb form
fell
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 again in 2012
reaching
Punctuation problem
, reaching
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to
Change preposition
apply
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380,000.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, people under 15
were
Verb problem
apply
show examples
declined almost steadily every 5
years
Use synonyms
, 10,000 visitors
stopped going
Verb problem
apply
show examples
to the museum between 1997 to 2002,
then
Linking Words
is
Use the right word
it
show examples
fall
Wrong verb form
fell
show examples
 again
with
Change preposition
apply
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13,000 reaching
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
87,000 in 2007,
Correct word choice
and
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then
Linking Words
it
Correct pronoun usage
there
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 was a
slightly
Replace the word
slight
show examples
 decrease in 2012 by 6,000 visitors. The number of special
exhibition
Fix the agreement mistake
exhibitions
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 was growing slowly
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
it
Use the right word
in
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 a steady way over the
years
Use synonyms
.
Over all
Use the right word
Overall
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, we can say the number of adults
was
Verb problem
apply
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fluctuated, the kids were not
interasted
Correct your spelling
interested
 anymore
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 visiting the museum over the
years
Use synonyms
, and the specials
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 increasing slightly.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words years with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "numbers of" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "fall" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • number
  • visitor
  • museum
  • overall
  • peak
  • increase
  • low
  • adults
  • school groups
  • senior citizens
  • period
  • main audience
  • comparisons
  • features
  • suggesting
  • growth
  • programs
  • years
  • initial
  • showing
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