IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many people consider shopping malls as great places to spend their leisure time and meet others. People in the past, however, visited shopping malls only when necessary. To what extent do you think this is a negative trend?

In recent times, the
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
 who start spending their free
time
Use synonyms
 in the shopping
malls
Use synonyms
 has become increasingly
globally
Replace the word
global
show examples
.
Hence
Linking Words
, the issue of
people
Use synonyms
visited
Wrong verb form
visiting
show examples
 the
malls
Use synonyms
 has emerged as a significant concern
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the general public.
As some
Change preposition
Some
show examples
 individuals maintain that it was a negative trend. I would explore the reasons behind before giving my own opinion and suggestions.
Firstly
Linking Words
, in the past
Use synonyms
people
Punctuation problem
, people
show examples
 would
visits
Wrong verb form
visit
show examples
 the store only when they
have
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 a specific thing to buy. The shopping
malls
Use synonyms
never
Verb problem
are never
show examples
be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
a teenager's
places
Fix the agreement mistake
place
show examples
choice
Change preposition
of choice
show examples
 to hang around.
However
Linking Words
, in these
day
Fix the agreement mistake
days
show examples
 some individuals start hanging out at the
mall
Use synonyms
 since they add more options
such
Linking Words
 as
retaurant
Correct your spelling
restaurant
, spa, and cafe. But,
These
Fix capitalization
these
show examples
 could
leads
Wrong verb form
lead
show examples
 to money
weste
Correct your spelling
waste
 because
people
Use synonyms
 need to stay around there longer and they might spend money on
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
things that are not
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the list
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 is what the
mall
Use synonyms
marketing's
Check wording
marketers
show examples
 expect.
Second,
Linking Words
staying in the shop might be
waste
Correct article usage
a waste
show examples
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 if they
follows
Correct subject-verb agreement
follow
show examples
 the
mall
Use synonyms
's marketing. If those
costumers
Use the right word
customers
show examples
 once get in the shops, they would spend more than 3 hours or
being
Wrong verb form
be
show examples
 there all day because they add the extra
sevice
Correct your spelling
service
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 purpose
of wanting
Change preposition
to want
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 to
hangaround
Correct your spelling
hang around
 there as long as
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
possible.
For example
Linking Words
,
Some
Fix capitalization
some
show examples
 teens found out that they
stucking
Wrong verb form
were stuck
show examples
 in the game
sevice
Correct your spelling
service
 all day and forgot that they
have
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 a final midterm coming up soon,
as a result
Linking Words
, they may not make it on
time
Use synonyms
. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 it is true that
visited
Wrong verb form
visiting
show examples
 the
mall
Use synonyms
 in these modern days
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 very convenient and flexible.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
 the other hand, it could
leads
Wrong verb form
lead
show examples
 to money and
time
Use synonyms
 waste issues. Because of these
reasons
Punctuation problem
reasons,
show examples
 I firmly believe that
shoping
Correct your spelling
shopping
malls
Use synonyms
 could be
harmfull
Correct your spelling
harmful
 to the
costumers
Use the right word
customers
show examples
. To
solove
Correct your spelling
solve
 these
problems
Punctuation problem
problems,
show examples
 I
belive
Use the right word
believe
show examples
 that balance is necessary at
this
Linking Words
 point
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 they should think properly.

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structure
In each paragraph, say one main idea in a clear line, then add reasons or proof.
grammar
Use clean grammar. Short, simple sentences are better.
content
Explain how each reason helps your view on the trend. Try to show how strong you think this trend is.
linking
Use words like and, but, so to join ideas and thoughts.
lexical
Watch word use. Check 'visit/visits' and 'money waste' should be 'money is wasted' or 'costs money'.
structure
There is an intro and a conclusion.
content
Some reasons are given and an example is used.
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