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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below gives information about U.S government spending on research between 1980 and 2008

The graph below gives information about U.S government spending on research between 1980 and 2008
The information illustrated in the graph indicates the United
States
Check wording
States'
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 spending on
researches
Fix the agreement mistake
research
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 in five different branches. Essentially,
The
Fix capitalization
the
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 United States focused mainly
in
Change preposition
on
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 health
researches
Fix the agreement mistake
research
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,
Punctuation problem
.
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In contrast
Linking Words
, General science is the least determined among the others. Spending on energy showed a stable pattern between 1980 and 1992,
then
Linking Words
 it gradually increased
reaching
Punctuation problem
, reaching
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 around 8
billion
Use synonyms
 in 1996
, after
Punctuation problem
. After
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 that
it
Punctuation problem
, it
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 decreased to 5
billion
Use synonyms
 in
year
Correct article usage
the year
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 2000 and
got
Verb problem
remained
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 stable for about 8 years. Health showed a significant increase, where in just 24 years it reached its peak with a 20
billion
Use synonyms
 dollar which is
spended
Correct your spelling
spent
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
researches
Fix the agreement mistake
research
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,
then
Linking Words
 a sharp
decreased
Replace the word
decrease
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 occurred between 2004 and 2008. General science started the lowest and ended as well the lowest, as it started with 3
billion
Use synonyms
 and ended with 5
billion
Use synonyms
 To
summurize
Correct your spelling
summarise
,
The
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the
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 United States
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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Did
Fix capitalization
did
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 not care about General science
nor
Correct word choice
or
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 others
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
Linking Words
In
Fix capitalization
in
show examples
 contrast
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
health showed a significant rise.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in contrast".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words billion with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stable" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • funding levels
  • government expenditure
  • trend analysis
  • budget allocation
  • inflation-adjusted dollars
  • historic highs/lows
  • research grants
  • public investment
  • financial resources
  • sector-specific spending
  • economic downturn
  • national priorities
  • scientific advancement
  • fiscal policy
  • economic stimulus
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