IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the average closing prices of selected precious matals from 2013 to 2021

The graph below shows the average closing prices of selected precious matals from 2013 to 2021
The line graph displayed the percentage closing
prices
Use synonyms
 of chosen precious metals between 2013 and 2021.
Overall
Linking Words
, the number of
platinum
Use synonyms
 price trended to decrease significantly, being the highest
prices
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the beginning of the period.
Linking Words
While the
Change preposition
The
show examples
 average costs of palladium were
Change preposition
at the
show examples
the
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 lowest level in the final year.
In
Change preposition
This
show examples
this
Linking Words
 record demonstrates
Use synonyms
platinum
Correct word choice
that platinum
show examples
 had
prices
Use synonyms
by
Change preposition
of
show examples
 $1,500 per
oz
Use synonyms
. in 2013
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 it declined slightly
approximately
Change preposition
to approximately
show examples
 $1,000 per
oz
Use synonyms
. from 2014 to 2015.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the number of
platinum
Use synonyms
 remained stable between 2015 and 2020
by
Change preposition
at
show examples
 $750per
oz
Use synonyms
. before the price went up modestly around $1,000 per
oz
Use synonyms
. in the final year.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the percentage
prices
Use synonyms
 of gold
felt
Use the right word
fell
show examples
 slightly from 2013 to 2015 by $1,500 per
oz
Use synonyms
. to $1,300 per
oz
Use synonyms
. and it became
consistent
Replace the word
consistently
show examples
 stable from 2016 to 2019
as
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the same
prices
Use synonyms
. The average cost of
platinum
Use synonyms
 was lowest level between 2013 and
2017
Punctuation problem
2017,
show examples
 just over 500 dollars per unit
Linking Words
while
Punctuation problem
, while
show examples
platinum
Use synonyms
 was the most popular during 2012 to 2015. There
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
fluctuated
Replace the word
fluctuating
show examples
 changes after
year
Check wording
apply
show examples
2019
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
which
Use the right word
with
show examples
 the number of palladium had more than almost tripling in the rest of the period.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words prices, platinum, oz with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stable" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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