IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

some scientists think that there are intelligent life forms on other planets and messages should be sent to contact them. Other scientists think it is a bad idea and would be dangerous. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some researchers suggest that messages should be sent to intelligent life forms on other planets to establish contact;
however
Linking Words
, others contend that
such
Linking Words
 actions may expose Earth to severe threats.
Although
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 contacting extraterrestrial beings may contribute to advances in
technology
Use synonyms
 and medicine, I believe
such
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 initiatives without understanding their intentions
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 not an appropriate approach. On the one hand, supporters of
this
Linking Words
 view argue that sending messages to advanced life forms may enhance knowledge about the environment and
field
Correct article usage
the field
show examples
 of medicine. If we were able to contact
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
aliens, they may share advanced
technology
Use synonyms
 and extensive knowledge. Since humans are combating
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
climate
changes
Fix the agreement mistake
change
show examples
 and incurable diseases,
such
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 valuable information could help to resolve these pressing issues. To exemplify, in history, whenever countries collaborated, they
make
Wrong verb form
made
show examples
 several breakthroughs in the field of science and
technology
Use synonyms
 collectively.
Consequently
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, establishing contacts with
advanced
Correct article usage
an advanced
show examples
 civilisation can fast-track breakthroughs that would
otherwise
Linking Words
 take centuries.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, many critics maintain that
such
Linking Words
 attempts could put Earth in danger. Revealing Earth's location without understanding
their
Fix the agreement mistake
its
show examples
 objectives may not only exploit
Correct article usage
the
show examples
natural resources of our planet but
also
Linking Words
can
Verb problem
apply
show examples
cause
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
destruction
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, history shows that whenever
developed
Correct article usage
a developed
show examples
 nation encountered with underdeveloped
ones
Fix the agreement mistake
one
show examples
, the result
lead
Wrong verb form
led
show examples
either
Change preposition
to either
show examples
 colonisation or exploitation.
Therefore
Linking Words
, some scientists believe that
such
Linking Words
 actions can expose our planet to significant threats
instead
Linking Words
 of progress. In conclusion, despite the fact that extraterrestrial beings may help advance
technology
Use synonyms
 and medicine, I strongly discourage the idea of sending messages to them without assessing their objectives, as
such
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contacting
Replace the word
contact
show examples
 can pose serious problems to humanity.

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content
Make your points clearer by listing them. Start with a view for each side, then give a short result.
structure
Use more easy link words to move from one idea to the next.
language
Fix small grammar problems. Watch verb form and word use (for example ‘combatting’ → ‘fighting’, ‘climate change’, ‘contact with aliens’).
content
Add a small, exact example for each view to show you mean what you say.
content
Your view is clear at the end.
structure
You use ‘on the one hand’ and ‘on the other hand’ well.
structure
Intro and conclusion fit the task.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • extraterrestrial
  • investigate
  • interstellar
  • speculate
  • communication
  • primitive
  • potential
  • collaboration
  • unlock
  • unprecedented
  • advancement
  • caution
  • consequences
  • hostile
  • unknowingly
  • civilization
  • disrupt
  • evolution
  • preserve
  • ponder
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