IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

In many countries, people wear more western-style clothes (suits and jeans) than their traditional clothes. What is the reason for this? Is it a positive or negative development?

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Introduction
In many
countries
Use synonyms
,
people
Use synonyms
 like to wear other traditional
clothes
Use synonyms
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as jeans or suits. Some
people
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 argue that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 it is
negative
Correct article usage
a negative
show examples
 development for
countries
Use synonyms
, but
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
 believe that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 it is
positive
Correct article usage
a positive
show examples
 outcome for
countries
Use synonyms
. I will explain both points before reaching
conclusion
Correct article usage
a conclusion
show examples
.
Body paragraph 1
First of all, the world
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 smaller day by day.
People
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are
Verb problem
apply
show examples
easily get
touch
Change preposition
in touch
show examples
 with other
Use synonyms
countries
Check wording
countries'
show examples
tradition
Fix the agreement mistake
traditions
show examples
 like wearing
clothes
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 , eating food and many more. It is positive
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 their
country
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's
economic
Replace the word
economy
show examples
, because companies will transfer their stuff from one
country
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 to another
Check wording
apply
show examples
country
Use synonyms
, which
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
show examples
 to
make
Wrong verb form
making
show examples
 money
including
Punctuation problem
, including
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 transport, labour
Coast
Check wording
costs
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 and many more.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
Linking Words
, it can drawback
economic
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
for
countries
Use synonyms
 as well. If
people
Use synonyms
will wearing
Wrong verb form
wear
show examples
clothes
Use synonyms
 from different
countries
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 and do not buy
clothes
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 from their local
shop keeper
Use the right word
shopkeeper
show examples
 and they will close their shops
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 unemployment
increase
Verb problem
will increase
show examples
 for those
people
Use synonyms
 who
stiched
Verb problem
stitch
show examples
 local
clothes
Use synonyms
.
Conclusion
In conclusion, it is fine to wear other
Use synonyms
countries
Check wording
countries'
show examples
clothes
Use synonyms
 , but always keep
touch
Change preposition
in touch
show examples
 with your own
country
Use synonyms
 too.

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structure
Use one idea in each paragraph and make a clear line from start to end.
task
Say what you think in the start and finish of your essay.
grammar
Check grammar, like 'world is' not 'world are', and fix wrong word forms.
coherence
Use linking words to show contrast, effect, and to join ideas.
content
Add real or clear examples to back your point, even small numbers.
content
You show both sides of the topic.
structure
You end with a short finish that restates a view.
content
You give ideas on economy and jobs.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • global trend
  • western clothes
  • traditional clothes
  • dress code
  • work
  • office
  • job
  • culture
  • tradition
  • identity
  • fashion
  • brand
  • media
  • internet
  • travel
  • city life
  • convenience
  • practical
  • comfort
  • cost
  • access
  • shop
  • festival
  • local
  • craft
  • design
  • balance
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