IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

It is a natural process that animal species such as dinosaurs become extinct. There is no reason for people to prevent this from happening. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

With the rapid
advanced
Fix the agreement mistake
advances
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technology
Change preposition
in technology
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 and flourishing economic growth, some
people
Use synonyms
 are
being
Verb problem
becoming
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 arrogant and insist on boasting the statement that human beings are going to escape the doomed extinction. From my perspective, I
am
Verb problem
apply
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utterly disagree with the statement and I believe that we, as humans, are even
facilitate
Wrong verb form
facilitating
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 our annihilation. My reasons will be illustrated as follows.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the resources on
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Mother Earth have been excessively exploited since the
industrial revolution
Fix capitalization
Industrial Revolution
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. The relationship between human beings and
the
Correct article usage
apply
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nature
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 getting into a malicious circle, which cannot be easily ameliorated. There is my
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
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 lines in the movie Jurassic World, '99.9% creatures
extincted
Correct your spelling
extinct
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
this
Linking Words
 planet, and humans are no exception.' The ocean
contaminaiton
Correct your spelling
contamination
 and air pollution are constantly making the environment more and more inappropriate for us to live. Only if the governments appeal to the public regarding the value of sustainability can we survive
from
Change preposition
apply
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the dramatic revenge from
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Mother Earth.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
's opinions and behaviours are getting radicalised and irrational
due to
Linking Words
 the presence and deterioration of social
dilemma
Fix the agreement mistake
dilemmas
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. With the prevalence of social media,
people
Use synonyms
 are more likely to convey their perspectives on the Internet.
However
Linking Words
, it has
unveiled
Verb problem
been unveiled
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 that these social media are not helpful for exchanging ideas among
people
Use synonyms
 all over the world.
Instead
Linking Words
, the "recommendation AI" even makes the situation worse.
People
Use synonyms
 are almost able to see those posts that share the identical views on certain issues, which makes the political inclination more and more polarised than before.
Therefore
Linking Words
, as long as we cannot be calm and composed, listen to
others
Check wording
others'
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 views respectfully, and voice our perspectives rationally, there might be more and more conflicts and the possibilities for the eruption of civil wars or even international nuclear wars are getting exponentially soared. All in all, introspecting our relationship with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature and
people
Use synonyms
 from the other side of our screens, there is no reason for us to brag about our intelligence and beg the possibility to survive from extinction. After all, I hold a strong and unwavering conviction that
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
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 are doomed to
extinct
Replace the word
extinction
show examples
, and we ourselves are even the catalyst of
this
Linking Words
 tragedy.

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task
State your view clearly in the opening and keep your main idea in each paragraph. The conclusion should restate your view.
coherence
Make a simple plan before you write: 1) intro with your view, 2) one idea per paragraph with a clear link, 3) short conclusion.
content
The writer shows a clear stance against the idea that humans can avoid extinction.
structure
There is a range of ideas (environment, social media) used to support the view.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • extinction
  • biodiversity
  • ecosystem
  • natural selection
  • evolution
  • environmental changes
  • endangered species
  • conservation
  • habitat destruction
  • ecological balance
  • genetic diversity
  • responsibility
  • accelerate
  • species adaptation
  • butterfly effect
What to do next:
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