IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

One of the consquences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantacges of this outweigh the disadvantages?

I reviewed Plumbs
veterinary
Fix capitalization
Veterinary
show examples
 Drug Handbook to find
Conditionally
Fix capitalization
conditionally
show examples
 approved
drugs
Use synonyms
, and
this
Linking Words
has
Verb problem
includes
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, but is not limited to, Sirolimus, Bromides, Crofelemer, Fuzapladib, Masitinib Mesylate, Molidustat, Torsemide, and Verdinexor. As mentioned at the start of the assignment paper, the definition of a small number,
according to
Linking Words
 the FDA report, is less than 50,000,
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
70,000, and 120,000 for horses, dogs and cats
respectively
Punctuation problem
, respectively
show examples
.
In addition
Linking Words
, the report stated some numbers,
for example
Linking Words
, cattle numbers are less than 310,000, and pig numbers are less than 1450,000, with turkey and chicken counts to be less than 14,000,000 and 72,000,000 in order. Definitions are highly different
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 each group. Major
species
Use synonyms
 are those that cover the following animals
:
Punctuation problem
:
show examples
 horses, dogs, cats, cattle, pigs,
turkey
Fix the agreement mistake
turkeys
show examples
, and chickens. Unlikely, minor
species
Use synonyms
 are those out of the major
Use synonyms
species’definition
Correct your spelling
definition
. There are other veterinary
drugs
Use synonyms
 that hold the same prohibition for
extra labeled
Use the right word
extra-labelled
show examples
 use.
FDA
Correct article usage
The FDA
show examples
 full report shows these
drugs
Use synonyms
 are the index of legally marketed unapproved new
drugs
Use synonyms
 for minor
species
Use synonyms
. The agent is Glivetmab, a USDA conditionally approved injectable drug. The product targets mast cell
tumors
Change the spelling
tumours
show examples
 or Melanoma. It is necessary to note that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
 biological agent is solely used for dogs and should not be a part of any therapeutic plan of any other
species
Use synonyms
.

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task
Make your aim clear at the start. State your view in one line. Then keep to that plan.
task
In each paragraph, have one main idea. Add one or two facts from the text as proof.
task
End with a short conclusion that sums up your point.
coherence
Use linking words to show flow, like first, next, also, but, because.
coherence
Use short, clear sentences. Break long sentences into two or three easy ones.
coherence
Check punctuation and numbers to avoid big gaps in meaning.
content
The text uses real drug names and numbers.
structure
The topic is clear from the start.
content
It shows you know the law and how it acts on rule.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • life expectancy
  • medical care
  • disease management
  • surgical techniques
  • economic growth
  • workforce
  • family bonds
  • social contribution
  • healthcare systems
  • chronic disease
  • geriatric care
  • pension systems
  • resource allocation
  • quality of life
What to do next:
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