Some people believe that it is best to encourage children to have a healthy diet at school while others believe that parents should be the ones to teach children to have a healthy diet. Discass both views and give your opinion.

There is a debate over who should teach
children
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to follow a healthy eating routine to
children
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. Some argue that teachers ought to teach the students to choose more beneficial foods,
others
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while others
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argue that parents play a crucial role in
this
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process. As we know,
children
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spend the majority of their time in school.
Such
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as their educators can give enough information about foods , which types of it useful and harmful.
For example
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, how impact to our health all that they eat
.
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?
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Thus
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, perhaps they start to consume just low-calorie foods.
However
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, on a regular basis, parents show them not only how to behave
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apply
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also
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, what to choose to eat.
For instance
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,
children
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can easily acquire
this
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habit if the adults make the light meal with decorations for breakfast or dinner since their
children
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were infants.
Additionally
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, they should give facts about the benefits of
this
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kind of eating. As
,
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apply
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it helps to strengthen their immune system. Through
this
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, they can achieve their goals. 
As a result
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, youngsters basically gain
this
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habit from their father or mother,
such
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it is considered a more effective way.

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development
Add more detail for both views. Explain why teachers or parents can help with a healthy diet. Give concrete steps or facts.
structure
Use clear linking words to show flow (for example: first, then, also, but, therefore).
language
Check grammar and use simple present tense; fix awkward phrases
task
End with a clear opinion sentence that answers the task.
content
The essay shows a discussion of both sides and a final view.
support
There is an attempt to give examples like low-calorie foods.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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