In many countries, sports stars earn extremely high salaries. Some people believe that sports stars earn too much money, while others claim that they deserve their high salaries. Discuss both views and give your opinion

In many countries, professional
athletes
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earn extremely high salaries.
While
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some argue that
such
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earnings are excessive and unjustified, especially when compared to other essential
professions
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, others believe that
sports
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stars deserve their wealth
due to
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the entertainment, dedication, and inspiration they provide. In my opinion,
although
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both views have merit, I strongly believe that
athletes
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are justified in receiving high compensation. Supporters of high athlete salaries argue that these individuals provide significant entertainment value and emotional connection to millions of fans. Sporting events create a sense of unity and joy among viewers, which can positively impact mental health.
For example
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, when a popular football team like Chelsea wins a major tournament, fans often feel a deep sense of pride and happiness that can
last
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for weeks or even months.
Furthermore
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,
athletes
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undergo intense physical training, strict diets, and rigorous routines to perform at their best, which requires discipline and commitment similar to that found in any demanding profession.
On the other hand
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, critics argue that it is unfair for
sports
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stars to earn far more than professionals
such
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as doctors or teachers, whose work has a direct impact on society. Unlike these fields, a career in
sports
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typically does not require a formal education, yet often leads to far greater financial rewards.
This
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disparity can discourage young people from pursuing vital
professions
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, potentially leading to shortages in essential sectors and harming the long-term development of society. In conclusion,
although
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there are valid concerns about the disproportionate earnings of
athletes
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compared to other
professions
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, I believe that the dedication, talent, and emotional value
sports
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bring to society justify their high salaries.
While
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efforts should be made to appreciate and compensate other
professions
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fairly,
this
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does not necessarily mean that
sports
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stars are overpaid.

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task response improvement
The essay has a clear view. To push it higher, add one more strong link between ideas and give a second example for each side.
coherence improvement
Work on flow in parts. Use simple link words like 'also', 'but', and 'in addition' to show how points are tied.
coherence improvement
Watch for repeating the same idea. Use one new point in each paragraph and keep short sentences.
strength
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strength
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strength
Logical layout with clear intro and conclusion.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • disproportionate
  • essential service providers
  • societal benefits
  • income inequality
  • economic value
  • ticket sales
  • merchandise
  • sponsorships
  • job creation
  • rigorous training
  • health risks
  • financial stability
  • entertainment factor
  • global following
  • command high salaries
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