In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very importatant for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

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Introduction

In several countries, some

people

Use synonyms

believe that it is crucial for them to own a

home

Use synonyms

rather than to rent one. The main reason behind

home

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ownership is that owning a

home

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offers certainty and cost-effectiveness.

However

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, I argue that

this

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is a negative situation, because it will significantly influence housing price

as well as

Linking Words

it is going to destroy more nature.

Body paragraph 1

People

Use synonyms

buying

home

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as it brings certainty and are cheaper for a long time. When they have their own

house

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, they can stay there for the rest of their life, and do not need to move out to another place. As renting is only for a short period of time, they need to decide whether to extend their rent or not.

Furthermore

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although

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

need a huge amount of it at the beginning to buy the building, in the long run, owning a

home

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means saving money.

This

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is because they do not need to pay monthly or yearly rent.

Body paragraph 2

However

Linking Words

although

Linking Words

buying a

home

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is very important, I believe that

this

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is a negative situation. First and foremost, as the demand for owning a

home

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grows rapidly, the price will meet a new equilibrium point, shifting to its highest level.

Secondly

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, it will bring more negative effects

for

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show examples

the environment.

For example

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, in Indonesia, since there is a high demand for owning a

house

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, the local developer of housing areas will build more residential regions that usually destroy our natural landscape,

such

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as a ricefield.

Therefore

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, the green space will drastically decrease.

Conclusion

In conclusion, owning a

house

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is crucial for some

people

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in some countries as it provides certainty and makes

people

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save money too.

Nevertheless

Linking Words

, I think that

this

Linking Words

situation is bad since it will significantly increase the

house

Use synonyms

price

Check wording

prices

show examples

and will

bring

Verb problem

have

show examples

a big negative impact

Change preposition

show examples

the environment.

mimumimu

Sep 20, 2026

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task response

You answer both parts of the question. You give two reasons for buying a home and clearly say that you see this as a bad situation. To make your answer stronger, explain more fully why a high home price is bad for people, such as young people or low-income families.

task response

Your ideas are mostly clear, but some points need more detail. For example, say why people feel more safe in their own home, and explain how new housing can harm nature in more than one way.

task response

Your Indonesia example is useful and on topic. Make it more exact: explain that land used for rice fields or trees may be changed into homes, so there is less land for food, animals, and clean air.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has a clear four-part shape: introduction, reasons, your view, and conclusion. This helps the reader follow your answer.

coherence and cohesion

Use clearer topic sentences at the start of body paragraphs. For example: “There are two main reasons why people want to own a home.” Then give the reasons in a clear order.

coherence and cohesion

Some sentences are hard to follow because of word choice or missing words. For example, change “People buying home as it brings certainty and are cheaper” to “People buy homes because they give more certainty and can cost less over time.”

coherence and cohesion

Linking words such as “Furthermore”, “However”, and “Therefore” are used well. Still, avoid repeating “negative situation” and “owning a home” too often. You can also use “this trend”, “home ownership”, or “buying a house”.

task response

You directly answer the question and keep your view the same from the introduction to the conclusion.

task response

You give relevant reasons, including long-term money saving and a real example about housing growth in Indonesia.

coherence and cohesion

Each body paragraph has one main focus, and the conclusion clearly brings your main ideas together.

coherence and cohesion

You use paragraphing and basic linking words in a helpful way.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

304 words

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In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very importatant for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. Agree or disagree

Do you agree that supermarkets are a threat to small shops and local communities?

Video records are a better way to learn about the way other people live in the world live rather than written documents. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Write a letter to a city planning manager about demolition of a historical building in your area and say – Explain why it shouldn’t be demolished. – Suggest a future use for this building. – Recommend a way to raise money for repairs.

In many countries people have to pay for medical care, but some think that it should be a free service provided by the government.