IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Many small businesses are being forced to close because they cannot compete with multinational corporations. What problems does this cause, and how can those problems be solved?

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These days, the types of
businesses
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 are so varied from the past owing to the
fact
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 that we can see a
lot
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 of international
companies
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 which can do a range of
work
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, so a
lot
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 of local
businesses
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 have to close.
This
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 essay discusses the results of
this
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 matter and how we can solve it.
This
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 issue has several bad effects on
people
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's jobs and populations who live in metropolises. On the one hand, when small
businesses
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 fail, the
people
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 who
work
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 in these firms lose their jobs; in
fact
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, a number of communities do not have
work
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;
as a result
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, they have to apply to a number of
companies
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 to obtain job opportunities.
In addition
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, it has a negative impact on
people
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's mental health.
On the other hand
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, if the local
businesses
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 close, a
lot
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 of
people
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 who do not have careers migrate to the modern cities to
work
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;
besides
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, the figure of
people
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 who live in urban areas increases; in
fact
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,
this
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 problem climbs metropolises' matters.
This
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 issue can be solved by governments and multinational corporations. On the one side, authorities invest in small
businesses
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 that can improve and have a majority of benefits;
consequently
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, they can create a
lot
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 of occupation chances. On the other side, international
companies
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,
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apply
show examples
 can provide some items that they need from small industries with the lowest price than big
companies
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 with high quality;
additionally
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, they help them to survive.
To sum up
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, small
companies
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 have several advantages for not only countries but
also
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 multinational corporations
due to
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 the
fact
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 that, they create job opportunities, lose big cities' matters, and improve the efficiency of big types.

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coherence cohesion
Improve the logical progression of your ideas to be more fluid and cohesive.
task achievement
Provide more detailed and specific examples to support your points.
task achievement
Work on introducing clearer ideas with greater precision and depth.
task achievement
Consider elaborating more on each point with relevant details to strengthen task achievement.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present and appropriately structured.
task achievement
You've attempted to address both the problems and solutions associated with the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • community character
  • multinational corporations
  • economic decline
  • monopoly
  • tax incentives
  • grants
  • buy local campaigns
  • niche products
  • personalized services
  • economic ecosystem
  • business partnerships
  • competitive advantage
  • consumer choice
  • market diversity
  • entrepreneurial spirit
What to do next:
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