IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graphs below show the number of visitors to two cities in a given year. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graphs below show the number of visitors to two cities in a given year. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
This
Linking Words
 line chart illustrates two different tourist
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
, which are
Use synonyms
Grenby
Correct article usage
the Grenby
show examples
 history
museum
Use synonyms
 and
Use synonyms
Grenby
Correct article usage
the Grenby
show examples
amusement
Use synonyms
park
Use synonyms
about
Punctuation problem
, about
show examples
 the daily visitation in one
week
Use synonyms
 in
Grenby
Use synonyms
.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
Correct article usage
the x-axis
show examples
x-axis
Add a comma
x-axis,
show examples
 the
week
Use synonyms
 is
seperated
Correct your spelling
separated
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
 days
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the
y-axis
Punctuation problem
y-axis,
show examples
 the visitation number is noted.
Overall
Linking Words
, a clear trend can be shown
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 that the
amusement
Use synonyms
park
Use synonyms
 has more
population
Check wording
visitors
show examples
 over the whole
week
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
history
Correct article usage
the history
show examples
museum
Use synonyms
 has
less
Fix the agreement mistake
fewer
show examples
visitation
Replace the word
visitors
show examples
. They both have a similar pattern, starting very low,
then
Linking Words
 increasing steadily in the middle part of the
week
Use synonyms
 and
then
Linking Words
slighty
Correct your spelling
slightly
increased
Wrong verb form
increasing
show examples
 their value or slightly
fall down
Wrong verb form
falling
show examples
. In
Grenby
Use synonyms
, the history
museum
Use synonyms
start
Correct subject-verb agreement
starts
show examples
 with about 290 people on Monday, the following three days
droped
Correct your spelling
dropped
 slightly, but remained quite stable
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 is approximately 200
pupil
Fix the agreement mistake
pupils
show examples
.
Then
Linking Words
 from Thursday to
Saturday
Add a comma
Saturday,
show examples
 the
Use synonyms
visitors
Check wording
apply
show examples
number increased
linear
Replace the word
linearly
show examples
,
at the end
Linking Words
 of Saturday at 400 people.
At the end
Linking Words
 of the
Use synonyms
week
Add a comma
week,
show examples
 the
Use synonyms
visitors
Check wording
apply
show examples
number
fall
Wrong verb form
fell
show examples
 back to 350.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the
amusement
Use synonyms
park
Use synonyms
 has started
on
Change preposition
with
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 similar
poplulation
Correct your spelling
population
like
Change preposition
as
show examples
 the
museum
Use synonyms
with
Punctuation problem
, with
show examples
 about 300 individuals.
Thuesday
Correct your spelling
Tuesday
 to Wednesday, it increased slightly to 350 and
fall
Wrong verb form
fell
show examples
 back to the value of Monday.
By contrast
Linking Words
,
to
Change preposition
at
show examples
Use synonyms
Museum
Correct article usage
the Museum
show examples
 the linear rose started in the
amusement
Use synonyms
park
Use synonyms
 quite early in the
week
Use synonyms
, the whole process started on Wednesday and ended
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 Saturday with the
amount
Check wording
number
show examples
 of 750
visitors
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
 the Sunday increased slightly and reached the 800
visitors
Use synonyms
 peak.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "at the end".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words grenby, museum, amusement, park, week, visitors with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "fall" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 4 times.
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