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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

There is increasing doubt that some
people
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 think that sharing
information
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 freely in science, business and education is beneficial,
while
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 others argue that some
information
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 should be kept private.
This
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 essay will discuss both views and give my opinion. On the one hand, there are several reasons why sharing
information
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 is good.
Firstly
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, when scientists
share
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 their
research
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 findings, other researchers can build on their work and make new discoveries faster.
For example
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, during the COVID-19 pandemic, many countries shared their
research
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 about the virus, which helped to develop vaccines quickly.
Secondly
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, in the academic world, students and scholars can learn from each other when
information
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 is shared openly.
This
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 can improve the quality of education and help more
people
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 gain knowledge.
On the other hand
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, some
people
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 believe that certain
information
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 is too valuable to
share
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 freely. In business, companies spend a lot of money on
research
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 and development to create new products. If they
share
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 all their
information
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, competitors can copy their ideas
and
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, and
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 they will lose their advantage in the market.
For instance
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, technology companies like Apple keep their product designs secret to stay ahead of other companies.
Additionally
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, some scientific
information
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 can be dangerous if it falls into the wrong hands,
such
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 as
research
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 about weapons or harmful chemicals. In my opinion, I believe that a balance is needed. General knowledge should be shared to benefit society, but sensitive
information
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 that could cause harm or side effects on business interests should be protected.
To sum up
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,
while
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 sharing
information
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 has many benefits, it is
also
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 important to protect certain types of
information
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.
People
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 should consider the consequences before deciding what to
share
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.

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structure
Plan your essay first: intro, 3 body ideas, and a clear end.
cohesion
Use linking words to show flow, such as first, also, but, so, then.
examples
Give at least one example for each view to show you can compare.
conclusion
Make your own view clear in a final sentence in the last body part.
accuracy
Check small mistakes in spelling and grammar to keep the level steady.
content
Clear view that shows a balance of ideas.
cohesion
Good use of simple link words to show flow.
content
Examples from real events back up points.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • information sharing
  • scientific research
  • business
  • academic world
  • advancement of knowledge
  • progress
  • collaboration
  • cross-disciplinary research
  • open access
  • democratization of information
  • transparency
  • credibility
  • intellectual property
  • security concerns
  • commercial interests
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