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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In today's knowledge-based society,
information
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play
Correct subject-verb agreement
plays
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 a crucial role in promoting innovation and global development. Many people argue that
data
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 and findings should be shared openly among researchers, companies, and academic institutions to
maximize
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maximise
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 progress.
However
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, others insist that certain
information
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 should remain confidential because of security, ethical, or economic concerns.
This
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 essay will discuss both viewpoints before presenting my own opinion. Supporters of free
information
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 sharing believe it encourages scientific and technological advancement. When knowledge is made public, researchers can build upon
other's
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others'
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 work and avoid duplicating efforts.
For instance
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, the Human Genome Project made its
data
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 open to all scientists, allowing rapid progress in medical research and drug development.
Such
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 openness can foster collaboration, reduce costs, and benefit society as a whole.
Therefore
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, unrestricted
information
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 exchange can be seen as a driver of global innovation.
On the other hand
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, some people argue that
information
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 can be too sensitive to be freely shared. Companies,
for example
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, invest heavily in research and rely on trade secrets to maintain competitiveness.
In addition
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, unrestricted access to
data
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 involving artificial intelligence or genetic engineering could pose ethical or
safty
Correct your spelling
safety
 risks if misused.
Hence
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, limiting access to certain knowledge is sometimes necessary to protect both public and private interests. In conclusion,
while
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 open sharing of
information
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 promotes collaboration and progress, some
data
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 should remain restricted for security and ethical reasons. I believe a balanced approach, where essential findings are shared responsibly but sensitive
information
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 is
protected
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protected,
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 is the best solution for sustainable scientific and economic development.

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grammar
Check spell and form. Fix small mistakes like 'safty' to 'safety' and errors in words.
coherence
Use clear links between ideas. Use small linking words like 'first', 'also', 'but', 'then' to show how points are related.
content
Give more details for each view. Explain why data should be shared or kept. Use simple, real examples.
grammar
Watch long sentences. Use short, simple lines to make the point clear.
structure
Keep a clear stance in the last part. A short restate of your view helps.
content
Good two sides are shown.
structure
The conclusion states a clear view.
content
A strong example from science is used.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • information sharing
  • scientific research
  • business
  • academic world
  • advancement of knowledge
  • progress
  • collaboration
  • cross-disciplinary research
  • open access
  • democratization of information
  • transparency
  • credibility
  • intellectual property
  • security concerns
  • commercial interests
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