IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people believe that capital punishment should not be used. Others, however, argue that it should be allowed for the most serious crimes. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

There are differing views on capital punishment. Some individuals think it should be abolished altogether,
while
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 others believe it is appropriate for the gravest
offenses
Change the spelling
offences
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. I totally agree with the statement that execution should be allowed for the most major crimes. On the one hand,
murder
Use synonyms
 cases can be divided into manslaughter and attempted
murder
Use synonyms
. In the first case, manslaughter is an act in which the subject does not control the consequences he causes, so it is completely possible to educate and reform
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as
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, as
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 well as return to normal life.
For example
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, when falling into poverty, some people choose to steal or rob to earn money and
while
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 struggling, they accidentally pull the trigger and cause death.
However
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,
that is
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 just an accidental act and does not deserve the death penalty.
On the other hand
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, those who commit intentional crimes
such
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 as intentional
murder
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, intentional robbery or intentional rape, drug trafficking need to be permanently eliminated from society.
Moreover
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, the reason is
because
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that
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 these are completely intentional acts, deeply rooted in a distorted mentality, satisfaction or disregard for money, and bottomless greed.
For example
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, a serial killer commits mass
murder
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 to satisfy his animalistic and lustful desires. These are very cruel, barbaric acts
and
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, and
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 the subjects of these acts need to be eliminated. In short, the execution is extremely necessary for the legal system, especially for those with a history of psychological deterioration or who commit crimes deliberately.
As a result
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, it is a suitable sentence and a strict warning to deter society.

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content
Show both sides in a fair way, even if you most agree with one view.
structure
Make a plan: intro with your view, body with both sides, and a clear ending restating your view.
coherence
Use linking words to move ideas from one line to the next to make flow.
content
Give examples that fit the point you make, and show how they support the idea.
lexical
Use simple head words and short clear senten ces to keep easy words.
style
Keep ideas low in big words; show clear logic and reason.
content
You state your view at the start.
analysis
The essay tries to give reasons for the view.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • capital punishment
  • deterrent
  • crime
  • serious offenses
  • justice
  • victims
  • closure
  • life imprisonment
  • rehabilitation
  • legal system
  • fairness
  • wrongful convictions
  • moral
  • public opinion
  • perspectives
  • debate
  • effective
  • punishment
  • families
  • contribute
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