IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The graph below shows the cinema attendance of people on different days of the week in 2003, 2005 and 2007. Summarise the inforamtion by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparison where relevant.

The graph below shows the cinema attendance of people on different days of the week in 2003, 2005 and 2007. Summarise the inforamtion by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparison where relevant.
The graph illustrates the
cinemas
Check wording
cinema's
show examples
audience
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 on
the
Correct article usage
apply
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week days
Use the right word
weekdays
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 in three
years
Use synonyms
, 2003,2005 and 2007. Overview, people tend to go on the weekends more often than during the week by far.
Linking Words
However
Punctuation problem
However,
show examples
 there is not
huge
Correct article usage
a huge
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different
Replace the word
difference
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 over the
years
Use synonyms
Punctuation problem
; mostly
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mostly
Punctuation problem
mostly,
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 it had similar numbers
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
 Saturday had the highest attendance of people.
To begin
Linking Words
 with Monday, in 2003 it was around 7%
then
Linking Words
 it had slightly declined through the following
years
Use synonyms
 to be 5% in 2007, now Tuesday almost had the same number in 2003 and 2007 (less than 10%, and 10%) but in 2007 it was around 8%, after that Wednesday which had the same amount of people in 2003 and 2007 10%,
while
Linking Words
 in 2005 it was less than 10%. In Thursday, the highest percantge was in 2003 it was above 10%
then
Linking Words
 it had the same amount in 2005 and 2007 which is 10% respectivily, Friday in all the three
years
Use synonyms
 had remain at the same point( over 15%), Saturday was the highest compare with the other days, and it's peak was in 2007 it was over 25%,
finally
Linking Words
 Sunday it was around 22% in 2003
then
Linking Words
 it satyed the same in 2005 and 2007 just over 20%.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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