Working long hours causes a great deal of stress and can be very bad for one's health. VinMec’s top management must find a way to reduce this type of stress. To what extent you agree or disagree?

There is an
ogiong
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ongoing
debate about whether working for a long
time
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would cause a lot of stress for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
human health, or it could reduce
thier
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their
working.
This
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essay
have
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has
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a neutral
openion
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opinion
on
this
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qeustion
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question
.
Firstly
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, working for longer
hours
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is not great for the
coworkers
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coworkers'
show examples
mentality. It
acutally
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actually
may decrease the
employees
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employees'
show examples
producivity
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productivity
.
However
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,
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also that would
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that would also
show examples
make them dislike their
work
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. So to solve
this
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problem,
i
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I
show examples
believe that the company should
equivalent
Verb problem
reward
show examples
the
emolyees
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employees
with a
promtion
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promotion
for
thier
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their
extra
time
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woking
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working
show examples
.
For example
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,
aramco
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Aramco
show examples
which
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, which
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is a
saudi
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Saudi
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iol
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oil
company
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company,
show examples
pay
their employee
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its employees
show examples
more for every hour they finish.
On the other hand
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, some people believe that working more
hours
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would give them more
time
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to do
a
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apply
show examples
better
work
Use synonyms
. Extra
hours
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could help with the lack of
time
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, and
work
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more
proffisonally
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professionally
.
Linking Words
furthermore
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Furthermore
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,
in addition
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of
Change preposition
to
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doing better, you should have a long amount of
time
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so you can think of
a
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apply
show examples
better ideas.
For example
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, artists who take a long
time
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painting
,
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apply
show examples
end up
to get
Wrong verb form
getting
show examples
a better result
Linking Words
then
Use the right word
than
show examples
others. In conclusion, working more is not always better for employees. But some people prefer having
a
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apply
show examples
more amount of
hours
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to do
a
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apply
show examples
better
work
Use synonyms
.

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task response
To raise the score in task response, pick a clear view on the question about whether long work hours are good or bad for health. State your view in the introduction and support it in the body with two or three simple reasons and a short example. Link each idea to health or stress of workers.
coherence cohesion
To raise the score in coherence and cohesion, plan your essay with three simple paragraphs: intro, one or two body paragraphs, conclusion. Start each paragraph with a clear topic sentence; use simple linking words like 'also', 'because', 'but', 'however', 'for example'. Ensure each sentence connects to the main idea and use pronouns clearly.
task response
Some attempt to discuss both sides of the issue.
coherence cohesion
There is a basic structure with intro, body, and conclusion.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-life balance
  • flexible working hours
  • remote working
  • mental health
  • stress management
  • burnout
  • well-being
  • employee engagement
  • workload management
  • productivity
  • work culture
  • overtime
  • stress-related health issues
  • job satisfaction
  • employee retention
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