Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

Nowadays
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Nowadays,
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children are
engaged
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constantly engaged
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with smartphones
constantly
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apply
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as a habit,
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that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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is
coused
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caused
by modern urban and
architecrural
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architectural
design.
This
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excessive
relying
Replace the word
reliance
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on digital
entertainments
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entertainment
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is certainly a
hurmful
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harmful
movement, that can lead
next
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the next
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generation to
irrepaireble
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irreparable
health
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problems
Use synonyms
. Modern cities' design pushes
joueners
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youngsters
to be engaged with
smart phones
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smartphones
show examples
. Urban environments and residential buildings are designed
with out
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without
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enough
considretion
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consideration
to
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for
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childeren
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children
' essential need
to
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for
show examples
physical activities
so
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, so
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,
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apply
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there is
not
Rephrase
no
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an
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apply
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appropriate play space for them
with out
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without
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annoying their family members or
neighbors
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neighbours
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. To compensate
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this
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for this
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lack of popular pursuit, they
axcessively
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excessively
rely on screens as engaging entertainment that completely
adapted
Wrong verb form
adapts
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with
Change preposition
to
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city life and apartment-living lifestyle. Constant
engaging
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engagement
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with digital
entertainments
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entertainment
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lead
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leads
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to
irremediable
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irreparable
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health
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problems
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.
Firstly
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and
importantly
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importantly,
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it causes physical
health
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issues
such
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as eye strain, headaches, poor posture, and sleep disturbances.
Additionally
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, it can lead to mental
health
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problems
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since
veruse
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use
is linked to higher stress, anxiety, and reduced attention span.
Also
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, it has
bad
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a bad
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effect on their social and emotional relationships since they may spend less time in face-to-face interactions, leading to weaker social skills.
Finally
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Add a comma
,
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addictive
behaviors
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behaviours
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can be
arosen
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aroused
since continuous stimulation from games, notifications, and social media can create dependency. As evidence, a study in the United States showed children with regular usage of digital
entertainments
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entertainment
show examples
are strongly in
the
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a
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risk
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higher risk
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of anxiety, depression,
behavioral
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behavioural
show examples
problems
Use synonyms
and ADHD, poor sleep, and less physical activity. In
conclusion
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conclusion,
show examples
modern cities
,
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apply
show examples
design
shift
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shifted
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next generation to relying on smartphones as an engaging entertainment
and
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, and
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it is a harmful development with
irremediable
Correct article usage
an irremediable
show examples
effect on their
health
Use synonyms
status.

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task
Task Response: State your view clearly in the opening line. Then give two or three clear reasons. Include a short, real example from life or school to back up your view. End with a simple conclusion that sums up.
coherence
Flow of ideas: Try to put ideas in a clear order. Start with the cause, move to the result, and finish with a way to fix or a final thought. Use linking words like first, also, but, so, for example to connect ideas.
point
You keep to the topic and show a clear problem.
point
You use a real study to back up a claim.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • smartphones
  • usage
  • technology
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • entertainment
  • gaming
  • social media
  • communication
  • educational resources
  • addiction
  • dependence
  • negative effects
  • physical health
  • mental health
What to do next:
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