Many people are now spending more and more time on travelling to work or school. Some people believe that this is a negative development while others think there are some benefits.

In recent times, many
people
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are spending an increasing amount of
time
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travelling to their workplace or place of education.
While
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some
people
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think that
this
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is a negative development, others argue that there are some advantages. In
this
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essay, I will discuss both views before giving my opinion. On the one hand, there are several reasons to explain why spending long hours commuting can have serious disadvantages.
People
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should
recognize
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recognise
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the fact that travelling takes a lot of
time
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, especially during rush hours in the morning or evening when
people
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go to
work
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or school, leading to wasted
time
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and less productivity.
This
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means that
people
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are exposed to noise and air pollution for a long
time
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, which can cause some serious health problems,
such
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as respiratory problems, increased stress levels, and heart disease.
In addition
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, by spending much
time
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commuting,
people
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have less
time
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for family, relaxation, and personal hobbies.
On the other hand
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, there are
also
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some benefits to longer commuting times. One advantage is that travelling by public transport allows
people
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time
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to get
work
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done.
For example
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, some university students spend more than an hour commuting by bus every day, and
this
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is a great
time
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for them to review lessons or even complete homework.
Likewise
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, many office employees may use
this
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time
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to catch up on some unfinished
work
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on their laptops or plan their
work
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schedule for the day.
Moreover
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, some individuals choose to listen to music or read books
while
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sitting on a bus or train. In conclusion, some individuals argue that it has some benefits, but I am quite in
favor
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favour
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of the idea
saying
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, saying
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that it is mainly a negative impact on health and quality of life.

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structure
Add a top sentence in each paragraph to show the main idea.
content
Give more facts or details to prove the point.
coherence
Use more linking words to show how ideas are linked.
overall
Clear view of both sides and a clear opinion at the end.
coherence
Good use of sign posts like On the one hand and On the other hand.
structure
Intro and conclusion are present and joined to the topic.
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