An increasing number of people are choosing cosmetic surgeries. Why do people have operations to change the way they look? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
Nowadays, undertaking plastic
surgeries
to beautify our appearances has always been a heated matter. It is phenomenal to see many individuals spend significant amounts of money at cosmetic medical centres. Stemming from the notion of valuing inner charm over the external look, I argue that perfecting ourselves via medical operations is, in fact, a negative development. In Use synonyms
this
essay, I will illustrate multiple detrimental issues brought Linking Words
by
cosmetic surgery.
First and foremost, the nature of these Change preposition
about by
surgeries
encourages people to develop a mindset that overlooks the inner beauty of human beings. By perfecting their nose, jawlines etc, we tend to forget about our internal Use synonyms
qualities
that truly matter. These Use synonyms
qualities
include our kindness towards others, learning intelligence and various funds of knowledge. Having operations does not contribute to these Use synonyms
qualities
, making us more superficial and judgemental. Use synonyms
Therefore
, it is obvious that it leads us to an unhealthy mentality.
Building on top of the preceding discussion of the craving for external beauty, these Linking Words
surgeries
might Use synonyms
also
trigger some problematic outcomes to our physical health. There have been multiple miserable living cases of young people, having regrets after the operations. Linking Words
Additionally
, unsatisfied with the outcomes of the previous Linking Words
surgeries
, they may have their facial feature altered a few more times, which ultimately ruins their faces or bodies, turning them into monsters. Use synonyms
Hence
, Linking Words
this
way of living is undesirable and not recommended, as it not only empties our wallets but Linking Words
also
diminishes our real identities.
In summary, having cosmetic changes to our look is indeed a negative development with its cons far outweighing its pros. We might be able to have a better external appearance, but the beauty of our internal Linking Words
qualities
Use synonyms
was
shadowed.Wrong verb form
is
Submitted by robbieyan666 on
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task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples or statistical data to strengthen your argument about the negative outcomes of cosmetic surgery.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence, make sure to use linking words more frequently between sentences to ensure a smooth flow from one idea to the next.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively present the writer's viewpoint and summary of the discussion.
task achievement
The essay responds fully to the prompt, addressing both the reasons why people opt for cosmetic surgeries and evaluating it as a negative development.
coherence cohesion
Main ideas are generally well supported, particularly the argument regarding the overshadowing of internal qualities by external beauty.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.