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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think that it is beneficial for students to go to private secondary schools, but others think that it has negative effects. Discuss both points of view and give your own opinion .

The type of school
that is
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 best for children is a topic
that is
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 frequently debated.
While
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 some people are content that it is useful to
enroll
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enrol
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students
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 in private secondary
schools
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, others think that
this
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 approach comes with negative effects.
This
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 essay will discuss both perspectives and present my opinion. On the one hand, the benefits of studying in private
schools
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 are profound. The foremost advantage is high-quality
education
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.
Students
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 gain better
education
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due to
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 receiving instructions from leading teachers, having a smaller class size, an international curriculum, and more materials, all of which contribute to offering
students
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 a well-rounded learning journey.
In addition
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,
such
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 a school prepares the student to obtain prestigious universities
enrollment
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apply
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.
For example
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,
such
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schools
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 give
students
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 a clear path to good exam results, college places, and teach them essential skills.
This
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 makes graduates more qualified to receive better
education
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 compared to a
gradute
Correct your spelling
graduate
 from a usual school.
On the other hand
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, these kinds of
schools
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 cost a lot of money. It is possible to say that not everyone can afford
such
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 huge expenses.
For instance
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, the cost of a private international institution in Asia ranges from 20,000$ to 40,000$ per year, which is considered a large amount for many people to pay.
Furthermore
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, the presence of
such
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 institutions can make society less equal. In simple words, public
schools
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 have fewer expert tutors, crowded classes, and fewer resources.
This
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 results in poorer quality
education
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 and leads to inequality in society, as we will have well-educated graduates vs less-educated graduates. In conclusion,
although
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 it is beneficial for pupils to go to private secondary
schools
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, it has negative effects
of
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, of
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 being unjust to each student. In my view, good
education
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 for all matters most. The best approach is to raise the quality in public
schools
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 and let private institutions exist with fair rules.

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task
To raise task response, state your view clearly in the introduction and restate it in the conclusion. Add more clear ideas for each side and give one or two simple examples that support them.
coherence
To improve coherence, keep each paragraph about one main idea. Start with a clear topic sentence, use simple linking words, and end with a short wrap-up.
content
The essay tries to discuss both sides and give a view.
structure
It uses 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand' to show two sides.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • private
  • public
  • school
  • student
  • teacher
  • learn
  • study
  • exam
  • result
  • score
  • class
  • size
  • money
  • cost
  • fee
  • access
  • chance
  • opportunity
  • advantage
  • disadvantage
  • benefit
  • drawback
  • equal
  • fair
  • gap
  • quality
  • standard
  • facility
  • building
  • support
  • policy
  • government
  • funding
  • choice
  • option
  • stress
  • pressure
  • future
  • college
  • education
  • learning
  • growth
  • society
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