IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

MANY DEVELOPING COUNTRIES ARE TRYING TO ATTRACT MORE TOURISTS. WHAT ARE THE ADVANTAGES AND DISADVANTAGES ?

Nowadays, developing and modern
countries
Use synonyms
trying
Verb problem
are trying
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 to develop their
tourism
Use synonyms
 in their
countries
Use synonyms
 for the entertainment of
tourists
Use synonyms
 . There are some advantages and relatively
a
Correct article usage
apply
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few disadvantages.
On
Change preposition
In
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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resent
Use the right word
recent
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years
Punctuation problem
years,
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 many
countries
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pay
Wrong verb form
have paid
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 attention
for
Change preposition
to
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 developing their country
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 especially the government
pay
Wrong verb form
has paid
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 attention
for
Change preposition
to
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modereniaz
Correct your spelling
modernising
cities to
attracting
Wrong verb form
attract
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more
tourists
Use synonyms
 . Meanwhile , some
countries
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trying
Verb problem
are trying
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 to save the historical places and monuments . There are some advantages of
this
Linking Words
, one of the main
advantage
Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
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 of it
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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is economic
incomes
Fix the agreement mistake
income
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, and
also
Linking Words
 from the
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tourists
Punctuation problem
tourists,
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 some
countries
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 become
a
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apply
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popular , in my point of view
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 can open many doors for these
countries
Use synonyms
 . Another advantage of
tourism
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 is
Correct article usage
the developing
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developing
Replace the word
development
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 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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education and attractive plays . There are some disadvantages
from
Change preposition
of
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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tourism
Use synonyms
. One of the big
impact
Fix the agreement mistake
impacts
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 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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tourism
Use synonyms
 is air pollution and overcrowded in
the
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apply
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public
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
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. The second major problem if
tourists
Use synonyms
 can damage some kind of valuable monument or historical places.
For example
Linking Words
, when people go to
Correct article usage
a museum
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museum
Punctuation problem
museum,
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 they
wont
Use the right word
want
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 to touch some kind of valuable and beautiful things at that
time
Punctuation problem
time,
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 they can damage
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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. Another disadvantage is that
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
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 can disturb
peace
Correct article usage
the peace
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 of the local population.

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structure
Plan a clear intro, body, and short end. Say your view clearly and finish with a simple idea.
coherence
Use easy link words like and, but, also, so, then to join ideas.
content
Add more detail to each point. Explain how tourism helps and hurts in real life.
language
Fix spelling and grammar. Look at small mistakes like recent, modern, and touch.
content
The essay talks about both good and bad ideas about tourism.
structure
Some ideas show the writer plans for towns and people.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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