IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In today's modern world,it seems that in
work
Use synonyms
 there is a community
thinks
Correct pronoun usage
that thinks
show examples
 that competition at
work
Use synonyms
,at school or in daily life is a nice thing.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, others want to cooperate and reach their goals together as a team.
Firstly
Linking Words
, if people agree
about
Change preposition
on
show examples
 being competitive.We can see that it's all about a personal ego. It will
effect
Use the right word
affect
show examples
 the authority of that place or group.There will be fights and negotiations going on with everyone
whom
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
included
Verb problem
is included
show examples
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
this
Linking Words
being
Verb problem
apply
show examples
competitive idea.There will be lots of crashouts. It will
be not
Correct word order
not be
show examples
 okay for the situation of the authority and togetherness.
However
Linking Words
, if we cooperate and pass the obstacles with
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
teamwork
Punctuation problem
teamwork,
show examples
 there is a better chance of being successful in the job you are doing. And being
much
Rephrase
very
show examples
 close to each other in any type of concern.In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
 having a self-ego is a beginning mistake because if you
dont
Correct your spelling
don't
 even compete,that would be harmful for yourself.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,it will be much easier and light
work
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
If
Fix capitalization
if
show examples
 everyone can put a hand under the rock and
stood
Wrong verb form
stand
show examples
 up for it. In conclusion, being competitive isn't always right for
work
Use synonyms
. It can be the reason for a crashout or a loss of authority.So in my opinion
cooperating
Punctuation problem
, cooperating
show examples
 is the best way to reach the goal of being
succesful
Correct your spelling
successful
.

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structure
State both views clearly in the first part and say your own view in the last part.
cohesion
Use clear topic sentences for each paragraph and link ideas with simple words like 'and', 'but', 'so'.
examples
Give one clear example for each point to show you can explain with a real situation.
language
Check grammar and spelling; avoid big or wrong words and keep short, simple sentences.
style
Keep a calm and steady style; avoid long and hard sentences.
content
You show both sides of the view.
content
You say your own view in the end.
structure
You try to finish with a clear conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • innovation
  • productivity
  • excel
  • outperform
  • advancements
  • academic standards
  • work ethic
  • stress
  • anxiety
  • unhealthy rivalries
  • harmonious
  • supportive
  • collaborative learning
  • social skills
  • communication skills
  • sense of community
  • collective goals
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