IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

1.You are a parent and you need information about a school trip your child is going on. Write a letter to the class teacher. In your letter • introduce yourself • explain what information you are looking for • inform the teacher about any specific needs your child has

Dear teacher, My name is jas and
i
Fix capitalization
I
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 am
mother
Correct article usage
the mother
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 of
shinouske
Fix capitalization
Shinouske
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, who is
student
Correct article usage
a student
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of
Change preposition
in
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3rd
Correct article usage
the 3rd
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 class. I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to get information regarding recent
trip
Use synonyms
 of my
son class
Check wording
son's recent trip
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 that
Verb problem
was orgnized
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orgnized
Correct your spelling
organised
 by
school
Correct article usage
the school
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. First of all ,
i
Fix capitalization
I
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 would be grateful
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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if you could provide me
details
Change preposition
with details
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 of
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the trip
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trip
Check wording
trip's
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 exact date, time and location, because
its
Use the right word
it's
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 really important to know about general inquiries to prepare his
trip
Use synonyms
 properly, so he can not face any problem during
this
Linking Words
 journey.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
shinouske
Fix capitalization
Shinouske
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 has
allergy
Correct article usage
an allergy
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from
Change preposition
to
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mashrooms
Correct your spelling
mushrooms
, please avoid any kind of
mashroom
Correct your spelling
mushroom
 in his food,
as well as
Linking Words
 he is taking some medicine three times a day for
this
Linking Words
 problem
, i
Punctuation problem
. I
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 will pack all that in his bag
, kindly
Punctuation problem
. Kindly
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 remind him to take that medicine on time. I hope
this
Linking Words
trip
Use synonyms
 will be wonderful for all students
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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plaese
Correct your spelling
please
 do not
hestiate
Correct your spelling
hesitate
 to contact me for any other information. I am looking for your response.
Your Sincerely
Use the right word
Yours sincerely
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, Jas

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structure
Try to use one idea per paragraph and say only what is asked.
tone
Begin with a clear greeting and end with a neat closing.
grammar
Keep sentences short and check words like mushroom, date and time.
tone
Keep a calm and polite tone in the whole note.
content
The letter shows what you want to know about the trip.
safety
It asks about allergy and medicine to keep the child safe.
tone
The tone is polite and kind.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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