IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some argue that governments should prioritize lowering environmental pollution and housing issues in order to prevent illness and disease. do you agree or disagree?

There is no denying the fact that governments have significant responsibility among their citizens, and they should focus on important complications
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 which threaten their health or even
life
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
 it is a commonly held belief that nations should determine environmental pollution and housing issues as the first causes of spreading infections and various diseases in the community. In my opinion, I believe that these issues are very dangerous, so unions should tackle them immediately.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
environmental pollution is
global
Correct article usage
a global
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 challenge;
furthermore
Linking Words
, it has
engage
Wrong verb form
engaged
show examples
responsibility
Correct article usage
the responsibility
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 between individuals and authorities.
In other words
Linking Words
, it is the main reason behind many trends
such
Linking Words
 as early death, lung failure
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 spread of
differs
Replace the word
different
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virus
Fix the agreement mistake
viruses
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 and bacteria in the world.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 factor has a direct connection with natural unbalance like extreme lowering
oxygen
Change preposition
of oxygen
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due to
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 emission of
variety
Replace the word
various
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 gases within
air
Correct article usage
the air
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, which attack agriculture,
forest
Fix the agreement mistake
forests
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 and wildlife. Another point to consider, people
whose
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
living
Replace the word
live
show examples
 in
poor
Correct article usage
a poor
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neighborhood
Change the spelling
neighbourhood
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 are facing multiple challenges
due to
Linking Words
 unawareness and
poor
Correct article usage
a poor
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 situation. It is
also
Linking Words
 possible to say that needy persons cannot afford
expenses
Correct article usage
the expenses
show examples
 of daily
life
Use synonyms
 and health care, which contributes to
increase
Correct article usage
the increase
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illness
Change preposition
in illness
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between
Change preposition
among
show examples
 them. What is more, they are consuming
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
contamination
Replace the word
contaminated
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 water and food
.
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
.
Therefore
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, the
regiems
Correct your spelling
regimes
 should take
strength
Replace the word
a strong
show examples
 step to
providing
Wrong verb form
provide
show examples
 them with a recent
life
Use synonyms
.
For instance
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,
spreading
Wrong verb form
the spread
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 of HIV in African countries because
absence
Correct article usage
the absence
show examples
 of the
governments'
Check wording
government's
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 role.
In addition
Linking Words
, factors' emissions and waste products in Asian nations threaten the aquatic
life
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, I agree with these
argues
Replace the word
arguments
show examples
, the governments should find solutions for these complexes in order.

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task
Make your answer clear from the start. Say yes or no to the claim and give 2 or 3 main reasons.
content
Keep to points that fit the topic. Do not give off topic ideas like HIV in Africa when the question is about pollution and housing.
grammar
Check grammar and word use. Use simple and correct forms. Fix common mistakes with plural, tense, and word order.
coherence
Use clear link words to show how ideas are connected and make each paragraph have one main idea.
content
You take a clear view and try to argue.
structure
There is a basic plan with an introduction, body points, and conclusion.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • pollution
  • housing
  • illness
  • disease
  • prevent
  • reduce
  • health
  • care
  • cost
  • spend
  • money
  • policy
  • government
  • air
  • water
  • soil
  • damp
  • mold
  • crowding
  • housing
  • buildings
  • rules
  • plan
  • fund
  • benefit
  • risk
  • evidence
  • example
  • long‑term
  • short‑term
  • priority
  • balanced
  • environment
  • safety
  • well‑being
  • life
  • work
  • public
  • policy
  • economic
  • budget
  • invest
  • infrastructure
  • promotion
  • prevention
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