The chart below give information about players of electronic games in South Korea in 2003.

The chart below give information about players of electronic games in South Korea in 2003.
IELTS Writing Task Chart for The chart below give information about players of electronic games in South Korea in 2003.
The three pie charts illustrate data about electronic
game
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players
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in South Korea in 2003.
Overall
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,
it is clear that
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the majority of
game
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players
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were male and mostly of them were under the age of 18
, in
Punctuation problem
. In
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terms of
game
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preference, action
games
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were the most popular,
while
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other
games
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were the least popular. In terms of gender, a clear majority of gamers were male,
accounted
Wrong verb form
accounting
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for 72
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percent
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per cent
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of the gaming population, compared with 28
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percent
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per cent
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for females. Looking at the age group,
players
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under 18
ages
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years
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formed the largest proportion, accounting for nearly 39
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percent
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per cent
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,
whereas
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those aged between 18 and 36 constituted the second largest group and
players
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over 36 years old represented the smallest proportion. When it comes to
game
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preferences, action
games
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stood out as the most popular category, attracting the largest percentage of gamers at 43
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percent
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per cent
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. Sport
games
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were the second most
favored
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favoured
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, accounting for 20
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percent
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per cent
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of total
games
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. Racing, Education and role-playing
games
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followed with slightly lower figures,
while
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the “other” category represented the smallest share at around 6%.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Vocabulary: Replace the words game, players, games, percent with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "represented" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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