In some countries, birth rates are falling and experts say that by 2050 these countries will have far more adults aged 65 and over than children under 15. What problems might this cause in the future? Can anything else be done to solve this issue? (2nd attempt)

It is estimated that, by the year 2050, the number of newborns will have declined, and

this

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will outweigh the population of older adults over the teenagers.

Consequently

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this

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can have many adverse effects on countries dealing with

this

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issue. Here are some of the problems that may happen regarding it.

Firstly

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, when the younger generation falls behind the older ones in numbers, it will have a significant impact on the workforce. People over 65 are mostly retired and are unable to perform certain tasks. And

thus

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, they cannot do much for their homeland.

In addition

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, they are more likely to fault at their age.

For example

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, if the experts of a firm are not replaced with fresh ones, the company will suffer from the harm caused by the older staff

due to

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their lack of vision or hearing abilities.

Secondly

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although

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the youngsters are not as wise and experienced as the elders, they can figure things out in a more interesting way.

This

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can lead to more fascinating ideas, as they are able to come up with outstanding theories that will come true in no time.

For instance

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, suppose two individuals are being tested. One is over 65, and the other is less than 15 years old. If they are asked how to stop the pipe from leaking, the latter is more likely to think of a permanent, creative solution. They might say that the pipe not only should be replaced, but it might

also

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be checked for the reason that led to

this

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issue. In summary, the population of older people is increasing day by day in some areas unless the authorities find a proper solution to address

this

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issue.

As a result

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, some countries are seeking refugees and immigrants under 35 to fix

this

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problem.

In contrast

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, other territories are spreading public awareness about the consequences. And

as a result

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, they are motivating their residents to bring new children into their families.

However

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, the government should

also

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build the requirements and facilities to nurture healthier, happier, and more intelligent children who are willing to serve their hometown.

parmidaa.sazegari

Oct 2, 2025

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Structure

Make a clear plan: start with a short intro, then two or three problems, then two or three solutions, and finish with a short end.

Language

Use simple and exact words. Avoid hard phrases. Check grammar like 'over 15 years old' not 'over the teenagers' and 'younger' not 'the youngsters'.

Content

Give each point a clear example that fits the idea and make sure it is easy to see the link.

Coherence

Keep sentences short. Use fewer long sentences. Use linking words like 'also', 'but', 'however', 'for example', 'therefore' to guide the reader.

Task response

Make a clear conclusion that restates the idea and the solution.

Task response

The essay tries to answer both parts of the question (problems and solutions).

Coherence

There is introduction and a final summary signpost.

Content

Some good ideas about aging and work.

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14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

350 words

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In some countries, birth rates are falling and experts say that by 2050 these countries will have far more adults aged 65 and over than children under 15. What problems might this cause in the future? Can anything else be done to solve this issue? (2nd attempt)

Some people believe that it is best to encourage children to have a healthy diet at school while others believe that parents should be the ones to teach children to have a healthy diet. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In many cities around the world, traffic congestion has become a major problem. What are the causes of this problem, and what measures can be taken to solve it?

Some people have argued that video games are a waste of time, and people should spend their time and money on better hobbies. Do the advantages of video games outweigh the disadvantages ?

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?