IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people belive that investing in art and culture is a waste of money and that governments should instead spend more on essential areas such as education and healthcare. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Use synonyms
Government
Fix the agreement mistake
Governments
show examples
 in some countries
investing
Verb problem
are investing
show examples
 large amounts of
money
Use synonyms
 to keep
art
Use synonyms
 and
culture
Use synonyms
. The idea
investing
Change preposition
of investing
show examples
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 essential
ares
Correct your spelling
areas
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 more useful
instead
Linking Words
art
Use synonyms
 and
culture
Use synonyms
I
Punctuation problem
. I
show examples
completely agree with
idea
Correct article usage
the idea
show examples
 that
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 should invest more
money
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 essential areas. There are several reasons that investing in
art
Use synonyms
 and
culture
Use synonyms
 is
waste
Correct article usage
a waste
show examples
 of
money
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
Firstly
Punctuation problem
Firstly,
show examples
 there are no
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
show examples
 for normal
people
Use synonyms
not
Punctuation problem
, not
show examples
every one
Use the right word
everyone
show examples
 can understand
meaning
Correct article usage
the meaning
show examples
 of
art
Use synonyms
 and
culture
Use synonyms
 no way to educate
people
Use synonyms
 with
art
Use synonyms
 and
culture
Use synonyms
 in
this
Linking Words
 era.
Linking Words
Secondly
Punctuation problem
Secondly,
show examples
 if
here
Rephrase
apply
show examples
we are talking about investing, here
government
Use synonyms
 needs to find
place
Correct article usage
a place
show examples
 to keep
arts
Correct article usage
the arts
show examples
, and
it ll
Use the right word
it'll
show examples
 cost
large
Correct article usage
a large
show examples
of
Check wording
amount of
show examples
money
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
Finally
Add a comma
Finally,
show examples
 the biggest reason is,
Its
Use the right word
It's
show examples
 not
usefull
Correct your spelling
useful
 in
thes
Correct your spelling
this
 century
Punctuation problem
. every
show examples
every one
Use the right word
Everyone
show examples
 focuses
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
yhe
Correct your spelling
the
 future
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
art
Use synonyms
 and
culture
Use synonyms
canr
Correct your spelling
can
help
Rephrase
not help
show examples
people
Use synonyms
to built
Verb problem
build
show examples
bright
Correct article usage
a bright
show examples
 future I
belive
Use the right word
believe
show examples
 that investing
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 essential areas
such
Linking Words
 as education, healthcare
etc.
Punctuation problem
, etc.
show examples
Punctuation problem
, its
show examples
its
Use the right word
is
show examples
 more
usefull
Correct your spelling
useful
.
Firstly
Linking Words
government
Use synonyms
 can invest
built
Wrong verb form
in building
show examples
 more workplaces to help
people
Use synonyms
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
earn more
money
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
Linking Words
Secondly
Add a comma
Secondly,
show examples
 the best idea that investing to more
entertainments
Fix the agreement mistake
entertainment
show examples
 are more
useful
Correct word choice
such
show examples
 for the country organise games
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as Formula 1 or famous
concert
Fix the agreement mistake
concerts
show examples
, festivals. And the important part is
invest
Wrong verb form
investing
show examples
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the medical issues. Built new
hospitals
Punctuation problem
hospitals,
show examples
buy
Wrong verb form
bought
show examples
 new ambulances
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
finde
Correct your spelling
found
 new medical things to help
new
Correct article usage
the new
show examples
 generation In conclusion,
Investing
Fix capitalization
investing
show examples
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 essential areas
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 more useful
that
Correct word choice
than
show examples
 investing
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
art
Use synonyms
 and
culture
Use synonyms

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task response
Your view is clear, but you did not give a full view or enough facts. Try to state a position and address both sides with some reasons and brief examples.
coherence
Use clearer links between ideas. Start each paragraph with a clear statement and use linking words to connect sentences (for example, first, but, also, therefore).
structure
There is a clear view and a conclusion.
content
The essay tries to have a basic order: intro, body and conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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