Some feel that it is important for all adults to engage in the arts in the free time as a hobby. Others disagree. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

There is an ongoing debate about what kinds of activities adults ought to participate in during their free time.

While

Linking Words

some emphasise the importance of

arts

Use synonyms

-related

hobbies

Use synonyms

, others believe that leisure pursuits should be regarded as a matter of personal choice.

This

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essay will discuss both perspectives before giving a personal view. Engaging in the

arts

Use synonyms

can help reduce stress and anxiety. Many individuals may barely get proper rest and work full-time jobs in a stressful environment, causing problems with both physical and mental health. Research suggests that most of the mental health patients are office workers because of long-term workload without appropriate methods to express emotions.

Therefore

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, the

arts

Use synonyms

can be a medium to release their minds and emotions,

such

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as playing instruments, painting, and dancing.

In addition

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such

Linking Words

hobbies

Use synonyms

also

Linking Words

enhance creativity and develop problem-solving skills.

On the other hand

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, many people disagree that the

arts

Use synonyms

are essential for all adults.

This

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is mostly because artistic pursuits are not appealing to everyone, and encouraging individuals to engage in them may fail to deliver genuine benefits. Others may prefer more

pratical

Correct your spelling

practical

and physically active

hobbies

Use synonyms

such

Linking Words

as sports and gardening, which they consider equally fulfilling in their leisure time.

For instance

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, people who play tennis are generally happier and healthier than those without any

hobbies

Use synonyms

. In conclusion, the

arts

Use synonyms

uniquely

Verb problem

are uniquely

show examples

effective in allowing individuals to express their emotions.

However

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, in my opinion, spending free time on pursuits aligned with personal preference is more important, as everyone has their own way of maintaining well-being.

nineband9s

Oct 3, 2025

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improvement

Add a clear view at the start or end to show your own view.

improvement

Make each paragraph start with a clear topic sentence.

improvement

Link ideas with simple words like 'also', 'but', 'however', 'for example'.

improvement

Give more precise examples that match the point.

improvement

Check grammar and sentence form to avoid mistakes that hide meaning.

improvement

Use shorter sentences to improve easy reading.

structure

You present both sides and give a view at the end.

content

There are examples like sport to back up points.

structure

There is an opening and a closing that match the task.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

254 words

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The government should impose a fee on drivers who use their vehicle during rush hour to help cut down on air pollution from exhaust fumes. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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