IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The graph below shows information about the kinds of food that teenagers in Australia enjoyed eating. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows information about the kinds of food that teenagers in Australia enjoyed eating. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
THE LINE CHART PROVIDES KEY INFORMATION ABOUT THE FAVOURITE TYPE OF DIET THAT TEENS IN AUSTRALIA PREFER,
SUCH
Linking Words
 AS
PIZZA
Use synonyms
,FISH AND CHIPS AND
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 HAMBURGERS. THE UNITS ARE MEASURED IN THE ANNUAL count OF TIMES EATEN. AT FIRST GLANCE, FISH AND CHIPS LOVERS HAD A SIGNIFICANT DROP ,
WHEREAS
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 THE
sum
Use the right word
SUM
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 OF HAMBURGERS AND
PIZZA
Use synonyms
WERE
Correct subject-verb agreement
WAS
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 GROWING.
ACCORDING TO
Linking Words
 WHAT IS SHOWN IN
THIS
Linking Words
 GRAPH, IN 1975 THE CONSUMPTION OF
PIZZA
Use synonyms
 WAS LESS THAN 15
THEN
Linking Words
 IT REMAINED
INCREASE
Replace the word
INCREASED
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 UNTIL IT REACHED APPROXIMATELY 82 BY 1985.
SUBSEQUENTLY
Linking Words
, THE FIGURE REMAINS AT THE SAME RATE UNTIL THE END OF THE PERIOD. WITH REGARD TO HAMBURGERS, THE
total
Use the right word
TOTAL
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 OF THE
SPENDINGS
Fix the agreement mistake
SPENDING
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 WAS NOT FAR FROM
PIZZA
Use synonyms
. THEY WITNESSED AROUND THE SAME EXPERIENCE, STARTING AT LESS THAN 20 , AND BY 1995 IT REACHED
TO
Change preposition
apply
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82 . IN TERMS OF FISH AND CHIPS,THE NUMBER OF CONSUMPTION COMMENCED AT 100 , WHICH
CONSIDERED
Verb problem
WAS CONSIDERED
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 A BIG START.
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 IN 1995, IT REACHED
TO
Change preposition
apply
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ABOUT 92 BEFORE DECLINING TO 82 IN 1980. BY 1985, THE RATE OF SPENDING started dropping UNTIL it REACHED LESS THAN 40
IN
Use the right word
per cent in
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 2000.

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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words pizza with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • percentage
  • preference
  • frequency
  • trend
  • popularity
  • notably
  • anomaly
  • dominant
  • contrast
  • exhibit
  • proportion
  • category
  • significant
  • rate
  • margin
  • predominant
  • marginally
  • substantial
  • consistent
  • overall
  • variety
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